The Broken Soldier
by Tsuzukinyo
Summary: The war is over and Heero and Duo are trying to make new lives for themselves. Heero goes crazy thanks to the Zero system and gets taken in by a crazy doctor that wants to "cure" him of the system. Whats going to happen to the Perfect Soldier? 1x2 3x4
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimers: I do not own or hold any rights to Gundam Wing in any way shape or form.

Authors note: Hello everyone! I truly hope that you enjoy this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Its my first fanfiction ever so please be kind when you critique me. I will gladly accept any advice given, I just ask that you be respectful while giving it.

Warnings: adult language, boyxboy relationships (don't like don't read, simple.), rape, abuse, drugs, and probably losts of other things that I can't even think to warn about at the moment. Its rated M for a good reason.

Chapter 1:

The War ended. They moved on, happily fitting back into normal life. That's the story everyone has been given anyway, but the truth is far less pretty. Not everyone is able to have a normal life after being a fighter, no matter how hard they try. Some spend years trying to fit back into society, others just find a path in life that allows them to continue to fight, but they will never be normal. A fighter will always be a fighter, a soldier always a soldier, there is no undoing of the years of training they underwent. The story of one soldier and one fighter is a perfect example of this. Heero Yuy, the soldier, and Duo Maxwell, the fighter, the perfect soldier and the solid fighter together working in a harmony that could only exist in a war. What happens when you throw those two together in a war and then take the war away? Distruction, broken hearts, and lost souls, that's what happens. Heres the story of what happened after the wars ended and soldiers and fighters tried to be normal.

Heero's POV

The war was over, I ended it. The truth is I really wanted to shoot that bratty little girl, but I was out of bullets by that point. I guess the threat alone served its purpose though. I raised my gun and pointed it right at her head, in between her eyes, "Bang!" I said pulling the trigger knowing nothing would happen. I saw her whisper something then my body finally caught up with me. I knew I had won by that point and that it was over. So, I let my gun slip from my hand to the floor before allowing the darkness to consume me. My last thought being that Duo was going to kill me if I don't recover quickly. I had made a promise to him not to die and I intended to keep it.

I woke up days later opening my eyes to a brightly lit room washed in white. A hospital, I hated hospitals. Security in them was deplorable. I knew I needed to get out of there as soon as possible. I was mostly healed at this point so it was ok, I could walk. I turned my head to better survey my surroundings when I finally noticed the weight next to my hip. I looked over to see Duo Maxwells head resting in his folded arms, while sitting in a chair pulled up next to me, asleep. I studied him for a moment wondering what he was doing here. He should be out celebrating with the others, not wasting his time in a place I know he hates.

Without realizing what I was doing I brought my hand up and gently ran my figures through his soft bangs before moving over his head and down to his braid. I gently grasped his braid and just held onto it, finding comfort in the small act. By the time my eyes made it back to his face his eyes were open, studying me. "Hello" he said before breaking into a soft yawn. "Hello Duo." I replied and even managed a smile. The smile that he returned was brilliant and warming and was like the sun finally shining on a place darkened for years. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, he was beautiful, he was life, and he was success. We had won, the war was over, and Duo was here with me. I couldn't contain my happiness.  
>"Good to have you back stranger." He said while standing up to stretch. He must have been here for quite a while. "How long have I been out?" I asked and then started to sit up, wincing as I realized I had a few broken ribs to contend with. He reached over a pushed a button on the bed, automatically sitting me up, before he went behind me and fluffed my pillows and gently pushed me back against them before making his reply, "Oh, I think its been about a week now, give or take". A whole week, well that explains why he wasn't celebrating. That was probably all done with now. "Have you been here the whole time?" I wondered aloud. He nodded, "Never left your side. They tried to make me, but I wasn't having any of it. I finally just told them I was your next of kin and they grudgingly let me stay." I blinked a few times in shock. He'd been here the whole time? "Why didn't you go celebrate with everyone else?" I was studying his face now curious as to his reaction.<p>

"I couldn't leave you…" was softly whispered his eyes burning into mine the whole time. He was obviously embarrassed, his face was quickly heating up and turning red, but his eyes still never left mine. I raised an eyebrow in question and he slowly continued, "I was afraid you'd never wake up, I was afraid of losing you. You're important to me, to all of us. That and you promised you wouldn't die. I had to make sure you kept that promise." Now he turned his head looking around the room obviously hiding his embarrassment. I smiled and reached out to grab his hand, without thinking about what I was doing I acted purely on my emotions and brought his hand to my lips gently kissing the back of it before pulling him to me. Due to me being in a bed and him standing, he stumbled before literally falling into me. The impact jarred my hurt ribs but it was worth it. I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace. During the first war I had told Trowa that it was never wrong to act on ones emotions, but I hadn't done that myself until now. I was holding onto Duo like he was life, and without him I would die. "Thank you" I whispered. I felt his smile as his arms came up to return the embrace.

I was just about to say something else when a knock sounded on the door causing Duo to jump up and away from me. As soon as he was straightened a doctor stormed through the door. He was an older man with greying hair, large hardened brown eyes hidden behind thin wire framed glasses and a salt and pepper mustache covering his upper lip. Giving Duo an offensive look he charged over to my bed, "Mr. Maxwell, you should have informed us the moment he woke up!" he bellowed before roughly grabbing onto my arm to check my vitals. "Ah, well I was going to but, he wanted to talk a bit first. Who was I to say he couldn't?" he replied with a small shrug of his shoulders. The doctor audibly growled at this response but wisely didn't say any more on the subject finally turning to address me. "Mr. Yuy, how are you feeling?" he was now adding something to my IV. "I'm fine, when can I get out of here? And what the hell did you just put in me?"

"Mr. Yuy, you most certainly are not fine. You have 6 broken ribs, a broken arm, several bullet holes that were stitched together, and countless lacerations. I'm surprised you didn't die from blood loss alone before you were brought here. You have over a hundred stitches in you right now. You will need to stay several more days before I will allow you to walk around on your own. And I just put a pain killer in you to help you relax. I know that you need it. You've been in a coma, those don't do much to really heal anyone. Now, you rest and I'll come back in a few hours to check on you again. Good day Mr. Yuy." With that being said he stood and stormed back out of the room. I blinked a few times in shock before turning back to Duo. "What a jerk…" I commented, and Duo just burst out laughing at me.

I managed to stay in the hospital another few days before demanding to be let free. I could heal just as well without being here. I called the doctor in and demanded to be released. It didn't go so well as you can imagine.

The same old doctor stormed in, the man couldn't seem to just walk into any place, he always stormed in as though it was a matter of life and death that he get in there as soon as possible. "Mr. Yuy, you rang for me?" he asked calmly. "Yes," I replied "I am ready to leave, please have my discharge papers ready within the hour." He actually looked shocked at this, "Mr. Yuy, I haven't authorized for your release yet. You can't just decide that on your own." I leveled him with one of my patented glares, "Do you even realize who I am? You can either let me go freely or I can break out of here before you even realize that anything has happened. Besides that, I am stable now so you have no real reason to keep me, I can finish healing just fine elsewhere and would prefer to do so." He gaped at me like a fish for a minute before composing himself. "No Mr. Yuy, I don't have any idea of just who you think you are, but in here you are a young patient and with no family I find it my duty to keep you as long as possible to make sure that you are well healed before letting you out onto the streets. I am only concerned for your well-being. You are lucky you survived this war at all, it would be terrible if you died from something silly like infections at this point don't you think?" I growled ready to really rebuke him but was cut off as a voice from the doorway spoke up, "He _is_ the reason the war is over Doctor Sampson, and you would do well to remember that. This boy saved the earth during the first war with OZ and again during the second war. He is the Gundam Pilot 01. He's more powerful and capable that you can possibly imagine. And that other boy you seem to hate so much is the pilot of Gundam 02. You should learn a little respect for the ones that saved your sorry ass." The rant ended as the person entered the room fully, revealing it to be Sally Po. I let out a sigh of relief as she walked over to the bed I was currently stuck in. "Hello Heero, you ready to go? I've come to get you."

It got a little crazy after that with the doctor sputtering unbelieving at who I am and who Duo is, but everything got straightened out shortly after and I was finally released from my prison and into Duo's care. A lot had happened in the two weeks I'd been in the hospital. Apparently Duo had been awarded some money as a war hero and had bought a house for himself. He was assigned as my care taker so I would be living with him for a while. It seemed too good to be true! I was deliriously happy when we got to Duo's house.

He chose a simple yet beautiful house in a quiet neighborhood. It was at the end of a street tucked into the corner. Right next door to a wooded area that was part of a national park. He even had a couple of acres of land to claim for a backyard. The location was perfect, even from a soldier's point of view. The trees surrounding it kept it hidden from the air and from sight. If you were just driving down the street you wouldn't even realize that there was a house there at all. The house had trees all around it, including a tree lined privacy fence in between his house and the neighbors. The house itself was beautiful and suited Duo perfectly. It was small but tidy looking. It looked more like a cottage that you would see in those cheesy Christmas cards than a normal house. It had a tall pointed brown roof with a weather vane stuck at the very top. The Roof was different because it came down on the sides farther than on other houses. It came to within about 8 feet above the grass lawn on either side of the house, giving the house a distinct A shape. The front door positioned perfectly centered on the house was right in between two rectangular windows with rounded tops. The whole front of the house which was made of stone, had green vines with big red flowers growing all over it. It was quite striking to look at. The front yard was small, but was lined with a shorter fence than the side yards and had an inviting short wooden gate at the entrance. The front was done up to look like a garden of sorts, flowers were lined up along the fence on all sides in all different colors with the lawn itself well-manicured. It was very neat and well done. I looked around in fascination at all of this, my brain not allowing me to believe that this would be my home for the next while.

As I stepped up to the front gate Duo hurried in front of me, opening the gate for me. He sent a cheeky grin my way and waved his arm in the direction of his house. "Well this is it! I hope you like it!" he stated while gazing lovingly at his now home. I gave him a small smile and nodded, "Its perfect Duo. I don't know how you found it, but I truly think its wonderful." He blushed a little at the praise but quickly ushered me inside the yard and up to the front door. Upon first glance I had thought that the front door was painted red but now I realize it's actually made of redwood. I reached my hand out and ran it down the door marveling at the craftsmanship. "The door looks different from most of the house, the craftsmanship is amazing." As I looked closer I realized there were actual pictures carved into the door, upon closer inspection I gasped in surprise. Those were our Gundams! All around the glass that provided a window was pictures of our Gundams. There was Deathsythe on the right with Deathsythe Hell on the left, and then there was Wing on the bottom with Wing Zero on the top. Taking up the middle areas were Heavyarms, Sandrock, and Nataku. He had even included Epyon and Tallgeese. I laid my hand over the top picture of Wing Zero and sighed. I closed my eyes for a moment and jumped slightly when I felt another hand placed on top of my own. I looked over my right shoulder at Duo, head bowed eyes closed in a seemingly silent prayer. I studied him for a moment before he looked up at me and gave me a small smile. "I made this door myself; it's a constant reminder of what we did. Every time I walk into this house, I will know I earned it through blood, sweat, and tears, and I'll love it all the more for that." I smiled and pulled my hand away from the door and from his soft touch. Turning myself around so that my back was against the door I reached out and pulled Duo into a fierce hug catching him completely off guard. He went completely still in my arms for a moment before bringing his own arms up and encircling my waist, burying his head in my shoulder. "I still can't believe all of this." He whispered, his hot breath grazing my neck making me shiver slightly. I knew what he meant though; I could hardly believe it myself. Giving me one final squeeze he pulled himself away, smiled brightly at me and turned to unlock the door. Opening the door he ushered me inside, quietly closing it behind us. "Welcome home Heero." He stated. I smiled, "I'm Home Duo." I said looking right into his beautiful blue/violet eyes. I was home, right where I belonged.

Duo's house was small but cozy and perfect for two bachelors. Through the front door was the living room, complete with couch, love seat, recliner and larger flatscreen tv on the opposite wall. The living room was large it being the main part of the house, had high vaulted ceilings with a fan hanging right in the center. The couch made up of brown suede was set up in the middle of the room facing the tv which was on the wall to the right. There was a love seat to the left of the couch going against the far wall and a recliner was across from that making a square shape with just enough room to walk around all of it. All the furniture was brown suede with wood carved legs and on the arms. It was very rich but simple looking furniture and fit the house perfectly. The coffee table in the middle was made of the same dark wood and had a sort of swirl to it for the legs. It was eloquent and again simple. Behind the living room was the kitchen, completely updated and modern and also a very good size. The house really wasn't small, but it was all one story which made it seem small. To the left of the front door was another doorway leading to a hall which had three bedrooms going down it; a guest room, an office complete with top of the line computer, and the guest bathroom, followed by at the end of the hall the master bedroom and bathroom.

He finished giving me the grand tour and I put what little belongings I had into the guest bedroom before walking back into the living room. Once there Duo plopped down on the sofa and reached for the remote to turn the TV on. I stopped him before he could. "Duo, "I started looking deep into his eyes "We need to talk." I knew we needed to get some things straightened out; I wanted to get everything taken care of before moving any further forward. He smiled, placed the remote back onto the coffee table and turned to look at me. I quietly sat down next to him and looked down at my hands suddenly nervous for some unknown reason. "What's up?" he asked starting to look concerned. "Duo," I began not knowing how to start. "This is your home, are you sure you're ok with me being here?" I couldn't look at him knowing I was being stupid. He shook his head laughing softly, "Heero, you're my best friend! I care about you! Of course I want you here! I can't think of anyone I would rather room with, not even Quatre. "I smiled, that was good that I had one up on Quatre I guess. "Duo, I just don't know what to do now. Once I'm fully healed, then what? I know I could be part of the preventers now, but I just don't know if I really want to do that. I'm tired of the killing and the espionage. I just want to live out the rest of my days in quiet comfort. Maybe do something with computers." Duo placed his hands over mine and squeezed gently, "Heero, whatever you decide to do I will support you one hundred percent. I understand what you are saying completely. I already decided not to join the Preventers; in fact I've gone into business with Hilde in the scrap industry. I start next week. You could come and work with us if you like. Or I'm sure the preventers have need of someone with superb computer skills such as yourself. No matter what you choose, I want you to know that you can always call this your home." He paused looking away from me and blushing slightly. "I actually had you in mind when I bought this home. I had hoped you would like it enough to call it yours as well as mine." My eyes widened in shock. He did all of this for me? I felt so elated at that point that I lost all reason within me and before I knew what I was doing I had Duo in my arms and my lips pressed tightly to his.

At first Duo was rigid in my arms apparently neither one of us could figure out what was going on. Before he could respond though, I pushed him back a bit and smiled a true happy full smile. "Thank you Duo, no one has ever given me anything so meaningful before. I would be happy to call this my home forever, as long as you are here to share it with me. It wouldn't be home without you here." Duo's eyes started to shimmer with unshed tears. There was a moment when we both just sat there in silence, Duo fighting back tears, and I lost in amazement. "I will always be here with you Heero." He finally stated through a salty tear stained smile. I decided to kiss him again. I knew exactly what I was doing this time and decided that since he hadn't punched me or pushed me away after the first one, then I should be safe. I very softly touched my lips to his giving him plenty of space and time to push me away if he wanted. When he did nothing I pressed a little harder, running my tongue along his lower lip tasting and feeling as much as I could. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, Duo hesitantly kissed back parting his lips just enough to allow his own tongue to dart out and swipe across my lips. I moaned softly trying to hold on to what little control I had left. I reached out and grabbed him, crushing him against me. He gasped at the sudden body contact opening his mouth which I took as an invitation and quickly delved my tongue inside for a better taste. It was wonderful! Duo tasted of spice and honey and the feel of his tongue warring with my own was driving me mad with want. I couldn't believe this was happening. I knew that I had feelings for Duo, but during the war I ignored all of them. I had a mission to complete and could not let anything get in my way. Now that the war was over I could focus my attention on those feelings for the beautiful braided baka that had won the hearts of many.

I don't know how long we stayed on that couch just kissing and holding each other but it was almost completely dark in the room by the time we came back to our senses. I pulled back panting softly but kept my arms wrapped tightly around him, unwilling to let him go even now. He reached over to one of the side tables and flicked on the small lamp that was there. We both squinted at the sudden unexpected onslaught of light into the room. Slowly he disentangled himself from me and stood up. After a quick stretch he reached down and grabbed my hand pulling me up as well. "C-mon Heero, lets go make some dinner then hit the sack. It's getting late."


	2. Chapter 2

ok! Chapter two is up now! sorry for the long delay, I'm still new to all of this so just bare with me! :) Thank you to all of you that are watching this story, and please do not be afraid to review!

Note: I'm sure you've notice that Yuy is a little different than most people people portray him. I just recently rewatched the whole Gundam Wing series and I can't figure out for the life of me why everyone thinks that he's unemotional. He even told Trowa that it was ok to act on ones emotions. On top of that, he does show a lot of emotion at a lot of different times throughout the series. Now, that being said, he is very focused and does what he has to. His main goal is to win the war, and no matter what, he's going to do that. That doesn't make him unemotional, just determined and focused. He's really a good guy and a great character. So, thats my reasoning for making Heero the type of Character that I did. Duo as well is going to be a little bit different in this, not the normal joker everyone makes him out to be. Oh, and as for the time line, this is happening right after the Maremaeia (sp?) war or second war. So i think that puts them at being 17 years old or close. Let me know if I'm wrong on that and I'll be happy to fix it. Thanks again everyone!

Chapter 2

1 month later

I woke up feeling like something was off. I looked at the clock on the bedside table 0750, still early. Duo didn't have to be at work until 10 so usually didn't get up until 0830 or so. Over the past few weeks I had stopped being such an early riser. I no longer woke at 0500 or 0530. I now easily slept as late as Duo. So since it was so early, where was the braided baka? I looked around the room not noticing anything in particular out of place. I listened for any signs within the house. Suddenly I did hear something, it sounded like voices. Slowly slipping out of bed I pushed my feet into my house shoes and threw my robe on before padding quietly down the hall and towards the living room. I stopped before turning the corner; Duo was on the phone and in some sort of heated argument with the other person. "Now listen here asshole! We are ex-Gundam pilots! We've seen a lot more shit than you can possibly even dream of! How dare you try and tell me either one of us is not "qualified" for your stupid job! We don't have diplomas? Fuck that! Or a college degree! We've got the hands on experience! Doesn't that mean something! He saved the whole fucking world for crying out loud! And you tell me that he's not qualified! Fuck you! I'll take your organization down buddy! Just you wait!" I blinked, I obviously wasn't meant to hear this conversation. It was most likely one of the security agencies I'd applied to work for as a computer tech. I was a little surprised. I hadn't heard Duo that mad since the war. I heard him slam the phone down and quickly stepped around the corner and up behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my lips to his very bare shoulder. He had come out here dressed in only his boxers and house shoes. He jumped slightly at my touch before relaxing and turning around to bury his head in my shoulder. "How much did you hear?" he questioned softly not stupid enough to think that I didn't hear anything. "Not much, just the tail end. I take it another corporation rejected me for lack of a piece of paper?" he nodded softly in answer, his hair tickling my neck sending chills up my spine. I pulled away gently and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up at me. "Duo," I started staring straight into his eyes "I don't want you to worry about me so much. I'm fine. Please don't let those assholes get to you. They are just doing their job. We are still very young I'm just going on 18 and so are you. It's no surprise that they don't want us. I'll find something; I still have the preventers to fall back on if I can't find anything else." He bit his lip and looked away his eyes flashing bright purple in rage for a brief moment before calming into a darker blue/violet. "I'm sorry Heero, I just can't help it. I want to do something for you, to show you how much you mean. You saved the world and yet these assholes can't even give you a chance. One guy even told me that you were too dangerous! I mean yeah, you can be, but you're not some sort of crazed bomb ready to go off at any moment!" Duo might have continued on his rant but I effectively cut him off by pressing my lips to his in a dizzying kiss. All we had done so far was kiss and and some light touching, neither of us had been quite ready to take it much further. I moaned into the kiss tasting and caressing every part of Duo's mouth with my tongue. Gods above, but I loved the taste and feel of this man. My arms which had been around his waist holding him close released him and I brought my hand up to cup his face while I slowly broke the mind-numbing kiss. "Duo…" I breathed gently caressing his check with my thumb. "You have already done more for me than anyone else and continue to give me more every day. Do not be so hard on yourself. If it's that important to you that I find a job, I will go and work for the preventers. At least, until I secure another position elsewhere." He nodded silently avoiding my eyes leaning into my caress. We had yet to really talk about our relationship. I think we were both afraid that if we defined it, it would somehow disappear. I knew that I cared a lot about him and desired him a great deal. I also knew that it was only a matter of time before something tore us apart. I'd been deliriously happy these past weeks and owed everything to Duo. It felt like a vacation, and I could feel something forming in the back of my mind saying that it was about to come to an end.

Eight weeks after the end of the war and I was back to normal. I was completely healed, stitches removed ribs strong again, and everything was functioning as normal once more. I was working for the preventers now alternating between field agent and computer information specialist. Basically I was the one to find and secure the safe houses and contacts for the agents and to dig up any other useful info on their current mission that I could. Une had agreed to only use me as an agent if absolutely necessary, so far I hadn't been on a single mission, But, I'd only been here two weeks. Six weeks with no missions and no war and I was finally starting to feel it. I'm surprised I lasted as long as that without any problems. It was most likely due to the fact that I was healing and yet during that entire time something in the back of my mind kept bugging me, as if there was something important I was trying to remember and yet it was just out of reach. Then one day, it all became clear as my mind finally caught up with everything and I did the only thing I could, I lost my mind.

The day started out normal enough, I got up got ready for work, kissed Duo goodbye and left. Like I said, it started out normal. Once I got to work, that strange feeling I'd been having got suddenly stronger and turned into something almost painful. I quickly went to my desk and sat down, hitting the button on my computer I quietly waited on the machine to boot up. I looked over at my phone and saw that the little light was flashing indicating that I had a voicemail. I picked it up and hit the button to listen, it was Une. There was a mission for me and she needed to see me in her office right away. With a heavy sigh I pushed myself away from my great mahogany desk, stood up and started for the door to her office. I was about halfway there when I suddenly heard a great loud bang and the whole building shook. At that moment time seemed to stop. My brain shut down. I don't know exactly what happened but from what I've been told one of the scientists in the ground floor messed something up and it exploded. The building shook but nothing serious happened. It wasn't a terrorist attack; it was an accident, a mishap. This is where the real problem started. I hadn't been around anything like this in months now. It had been 3 months since the war and since I had been in any combat situation. For someone that's been trained since birth to fight, this is a hard reality to come to terms with. With the explosion my mind suddenly snapped. That thing in the back of my mind that had been nagging at me finally came forward. It told me that I was back in the war, that all of these co-workers were OZ officials and had to be eliminated, especially Lady Une. I don't know what happened, I blacked out and don't remember a thing. I've gathered enough from stories though to know that, what happened was not nice, and/or pretty. It was a near massacre, with me at the center.

From what I've been told, I quickly found a weapon and started using it on anyone in my path. If anyone was in my way I shot them. My mission? To kill Lady Une, and nothing and no one could stand in my way, except Wufei Chang. It's a blessing he was there that day because without him, I would have killed Une. My mind cleared just enough to recognize him as a fellow Gundam pilot and not an enemy; until he attacked me. The whole floor I was on was destroyed, I had set off small bombs all over the place, knocked out everyone in my path, and made it all the way to the elevator before Chang finally stepped in and stopped me. Apparently it was quite the fight between him and I. He won, but I left him pretty well battered as well. I'm thankful that he won though; otherwise I would have destroyed the entire Preventers agency.

I woke up some time later in the hospital ward, with my arms and legs tied down. As soon as I noticed the restraints it brought me back to the war when Duo had helped me escape. I didn't understand why I was there but I knew I had to get out. I promised Duo I would be home for dinner and I intended to keep that promise. Just like back in the war I kept my brainwaves and pulse even and steady and slowly tried to wriggle out of the bonds. I had just about gotten one hand free when I heard footsteps approach. I quickly closed my eyes again and pretended to still be asleep.

"Any changes?" a voice said, I recognized it as Sally Po. "None so far Doctor Po. Should we give him something to wake him up?" another voice spoke up, one I did not recognize. "No," Sally stated "He has a very strong resistance to most all drugs and it would be dangerous to try. We'll just let him sleep it off and in the morning hopefully he'll wake up and we can find out just what happened." With that being said I heard the footsteps retreat and a door open a close. Cautiously I opened one eye to a slight slit and looked around as best I could. Once I deemed it safe I quickly broke free of my bonds and hightailed it out of there. I didn't know what time it was or how long I had been there but I knew I had to get out. I used all my same tactics as during the war and just knocked out any doctors or orderlies in my way. I was outside in less than two minutes in a stolen taxi cab driving away. I knew of a safe house that hadn't been used in a long time and took myself there first. I needed some time to think.

Once I pulled up to the safe house I cut the engine and quickly made my way inside. After setting up the security cameras and making sure everything was safe I finally allowed myself to relax. I lay down on the cold hard bed in the one bedroom and tried to remember what I had done. The last thing I recalled was the explosion and then waking up tied to the bed in the Preventers hospital. Why couldn't I remember what happened? I noticed my clothes were covered in blood, but I was relatively unscathed so that meant that this was others blood. I sat up and put my head in my hands, "oh god…" I moaned what had I done? I decided to try and find some answers so I went into the kitchen where a small laptop was hooked up and went the search the local news. Several headlines popped up 'Mass controversy over attack at Preventers HQ", and "Several injured by war vet at Preventers HQ". I couldn't believe it; it had even made the news. Somehow my name had been left out, it was just known that some former war pilot went crazy and tore the place apart, amazingly enough, I didn't kill anyone, that alone was a huge relief. After I read all I could and even hacked into preventers for more info, I shut down the lap top and wearily climbed into bed. I'd deal with the rest in the morning.

I woke early feeling very stiff and disoriented. I could not figure out where I was for the longest time, then like a wave crashing into the shore, it all came rushing back to me. Wearily I groaned and rolled over. I knew I had to go back, to face up to what I had done and try to atone for it in some way. First thing I needed to do though was to call Lady Une and find out what my options were. I also was in a debate with myself over whether to call Duo or not. He must be worried sick by now. I figured I would decide what to do about that after I talked with Une.

I slowly rolled out of bed and made my way to the phone, picking it up I dialed the number to Preventers headquarters and requested to speak to Une. I was sure to use the voice over only and left the video portion of the phone off, just in case. After a long hold Lady Une picked up sounded harried and upset, "Preventers this is Une." She clipped out obviously having lost all patience overnight. "Lady Une…." I paused suddenly very unsure of myself. "This is Heero Yuy…" I finally got out. I was met with a long dead silent pause before she started yelling, "Yuy! Where the hell are you! What happened? I demand some answers Yuy! I've got the press breathing down my back over your little fiasco!" I gulped "Ah… I… uh.. that is…" I suddenly couldn't get anything out; it was like I was a little kid being scolded by a parent! I was more afraid of her then I had ever been of anyone during the war. "Well Yuy! Out with it already? At least let me know you are Ok! We've been worried sick about you!" I blinked in surprise at that "You have? But… I thought…" I was cut off from anything further from what she said "Of course we have! We know that you weren't in your right mind when you attacked everyone. That much was obvious! Besides that Chang injured you, I hope not too badly, and you were out cold for six hours! Then you just up and disappear leaving only a trail of unconscious people behind you." I sighed, and couldn't help but smile. I thought for sure I would be hated now. "I apologize Lady. I woke up tied to a bed, the same way I had during the war. My first thought was to get out, that if I'm restrained like that it must mean I'm in enemy territory. I didn't calm down until I got to where I'm at now."

"And just where is that?" she asked taking on a very cold tone

"In a safe house approximately 2 hours drive north of Sanq."

"Send the coordinates and I'll have someone you trust come and get you."

"Ah… Can I make one request?"

"You may"

"I know I need help, this has proved that to me. I don't remember anything that happened past that small explosion. I just blanked out. My best guess is that the Zero system is still a part of me and I need help to get rid of it. "

"That was already going to happen Yuy, so this really isn't a request, but I get the feeling there is more."

"Yes, if you would please not tell Duo about any of this, or any of the other pilots I would greatly appreciate it. Just tell Duo I'm away on a lengthy mission and will contact him upon my return."

Lady Une laughed at this "You'll contact him upon your return to sanity you mean! That is fine Yuy, I will go along with your request as long as you promise to stay in therapy for as long as you need it."

"Agreed. I am sending the coordinates now." I nodded and punched in the codes through the vid phone and hit the send button.

"Alright, I'll have someone there in 45 minutes to get you. Please stay put until then."

"Yes Lady, mission accepted."

"Oh, and Yuy. Just for the record, I'm glad you are safe and that even in your rage, you didn't kill anyone. You still have a job here once you medically cleared." With that I heard the soft click as she hung up the phone.

I decided that it would be for the best if I didn't contact Duo. If I heard his voice now I would just lose my nerve and want to run back to him. I sunk down heavily into the chair beside the small table in the kitchen. I put my head in my hands and suddenly started to shake uncontrollably. What if something had happened during the months that I was living with Duo, what if it was at home that I had gone crazy and hurt him? I would never be able to live with myself after that. I was having a hard enough time knowing that if I ever went back to work people wouldn't want me around as it is. I am dangerous; I am a ticking time bomb that no one knows when will go off. I don't know how long I sat like that just wallowing in misery before I heard the distinct sound of a chopper outside. I sat there a moment longer before going outside and jumping into the chopper and settling into a seat beside the pilot, who just happened to be Wufei.

Without saying a word he handed me my helmet which had a headset in it that allowed us both to talk without having to yell. I turned mine on and looked over at him. "Chang, good to see you alive" I said.

He chuckled, "Yuy, it takes a lot more than that to kill me off. You're a tough opponent though. I'd love the opportunity to spar with you again sometime." At his words I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. I was feeling very relieved that he wasn't upset with me over everything that happened. "Look Yuy," his words cut through my thoughts bring my attention back to him "Don't feel so bad about this, everyone that has used that damnedable Zero system has done this. You lasted a lot longer than any of the others, but they still did it. Even Quatre went mad. "My ears perked up at this last bit, "He did? When?" I had to know. "About two weeks after the war ended, you were just getting out of the hospital so you probably didn't see it. His was a lot worse than yours; it lasted three times as long and he was noisy about it. He kept telling everyone that they were the enemy and that he had to destroy them. It was a good thing that Trowa was there or he may have killed everyone that has helped with rebuilding his corporation. He was in his office that day." Chang stated all of this with a very calm look on his face as if it was just another thing that happened. "That system is horrible and should be destroyed. Once you finish with the therapy we should look into maybe getting rid of the gundams as well." I looked over at him in surprise. "Get rid of the Gundams? But why?" he snorted at my question. "Because Yuy, they are nothing but symbols of war now. They are no longer needed. We should all get together and destroy them once and for all. It will probably help you to be free as well. It was Quatre who suggested it, he even ran the idea past his therapist and she wholeheartedly agreed. I confess, I agree as well." I looked away from him then, getting lost in my thoughts and was still lost in thought when we landed a few minutes later. As we stepped up to the building Wufei put a hand on my shoulder halting me from going inside. "Heero," he spoke softly using my name as he's never done before "I want you to know that no one blames you for this. We all care for you and are just happy that you are ok. You'll get through this. You'll see. You'll be home in another couple of weeks I'm sure." I smiled weakly, "Thank you Wufei, that means a lot to me to hear that. Could you do me a favor?" He looked confused but nodded at me to continue. "Could you look after Duo for me? Don't tell him where I am or what has happened, just look after him and make sure he stays safe until I return." He looked confused, "You love him don't you?" he asked. "Yes, I do, very much. I don't want him to be hurt by my absence any more that he has to be. Just tell him I'm away on a mission. It's not entirely a lie." Wufei nodded, "Alright, I give you my word. He will be safe and as happy as I can make him, until the day you are free to return." I clapped him on the shoulder in thanks and turned to go inside the building. "Oh and Heero!" he called from behind me, "don't take too long ok?" I waved at him in return and continued on my way first to Une's office, then to the psychiatric ward where I would be spending the next undetermined amount of time.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again! I just wanted to write a quick note to thank everyone that has read this story, I hope you have all enjoyed it so far and know that this is only the beginning! I also want to apologize for taking so long to post more. I have been very sick and in and out of the hospital for the past 2 and a half weeks and am just now well enough to write more. So if you've stuck with it so far I thank you!

Warnings:yaoi, agnst, rape, sexual situations, torture, drug use, and I'm sure there are more but I can't think of them at the moment. Just know that its rated M for a good reason.

Disclaimer: Once again I do not own the gundam characters as much as I wish I did, all the other characters are mine. There is one in paticular that is based off of a character from another anime. Can anyone guess who he is? lol

anyway, onto the story! Enjoy!

OoOoOoOoOoOO

Chapter 3

Two months had passed and I was still stuck here. The doctor claimed that I just wasn't making enough progress. We had not been able to figure out what triggered the zero system. They even tried surprising me with smoke bombs to see if that would trigger it. Nothing, no matter what drugs they used, or what tests they came up with, I stayed stone faced through all of it. I was just letting them do whatever they needed to so that they could figure out what was wrong and fix it. I was losing patience though. I longed to go home and sleep in my nice warm bed with Duo wrapped in my arms. I tried talking to the doctors about letting me leave but they were very adamant that I stay until they figure out what the trigger was. I got really cheeky one day and even threatened a doctor. I walked right up to him and spat out, "You'd better pray that once you find the trigger you can get out of the way quick enough, because you're the first one I'll come after." The man wisely looked shaken after I said that and I hope that that means he'll work faster and figure something out soon. I wanted out of this place and away from bare white walls and the stagnant smell of alcohol day in and day out. I hate hospitals and yet here I am living in one. It's enough to make someone want to let Zero just take over.

Two more months; I'm now working on my fourth month in here, and it's really starting to drag me down. I hadn't heard from anyone in the outside world since I got in here. Not even Lady Une has contacted me, although I've been reassured that she was being updated on my care. The care I was receiving wasn't all that bad. The tests they ran on me sucked, but I have a talent for blocking out pain so it was no big deal. Aside from the tests they fed me alright, I've got my own room with a private bathroom and shower, I've got books to read and my computer to type on. It could be a lot worse I guess. When I first thought that, I didn't realize just how right I was, or how it was going to get a lot worse. I was at my 14th week in the psychiatric ward when everything suddenly changed. I was in my room asleep in the middle of the night when suddenly I was roughly pulled from my bed and a cloth covered in something pressed over my face. I tried to fend off my attackers but the chemical I was currently breathing in stopped me from doing anything. Whatever it was they were using it didn't knock me out, but it did render me completely useless. I couldn't move at all. I could move but just barely, everything was really sluggish. "Damn!" I heard my attacker mutter to another, "That doc was right about his strong tolerance. That should have been enough to knock out and paralyze a horse and he's still awake. He's too sluggish to do anything though so it's enough". I was then dragged out of my room and into one of the "testing" rooms. It looked just like an operating room complete with tools set out all over the place and a hard metal bed in the center. I recognized my attacker then, it was the doctor I had threatened. I guess he was really trying to set me off. I tried to turn my head to see the others that were working with him and found that even that small movement was near impossible. I couldn't do anything at all other than lay there and pray for it all to be over quickly.

I must have dozed off because I don't remember what happened after that, I only remember waking up to the feeling of ropes being tightened around my wrists and ankles. I couldn't move at all. It was a horrible feeling. I kept wishing that Zero would just manifest within me so that I could be free of this. I didn't know what that doctor was going to do to me, but I didn't have a very good feeling about any of this at all. Once I was more awake I quickly noticed that I was completely nude and laying spread eagle on the operating table. I must have made some noise for suddenly that evil demented doctor was leaning over me. He really wasn't a bad looking man, quite handsome in fact. He had short silvery hair with bangs that fell over his clear ice blue cold eyes, and an evil smile with perfectly straight small white teeth. He had a good body too, well fit with a solid six pack abs and well defined shoulders and arms. He was young, I'd say only around 28 at the most. But, he was obviously evil and planning something horrible. That alone made him ugly, I wanted to take that white lab coat and shove it down his throat. "Ah your awake" he stated with an air or haughtiness. "I am surprised that you haven't gone zero on us yet, but do not fear, you will." His evil smile gleemed with fresh malice and I strained in my bonds to try and wipe it right off of his face. He laughed then at my expression, "You know Heero, it was you that told me to hurry up. So I'm doing my best to accommodate you. Now that those meddling nurses are not here I can finally do with you what I want. And I will have fun doing it too." The smile that he gave me then chilled me and I visibly shuddered. It didn't go unnoticed either. "You see Heero, you and the Zero system were meant to be. It was built for you! I don't want it to leave you, no, I just want to control it within you. Just think! If I can find the trigger, then I could set you off anytime I want! You would be my own personal weapon! We could take over the world together! Wouldn't you like that Heero?" throughout his entire speech he was pacing the room and just as he was finished and leaned down so that his face was right above mine. I did what any respectable person would do, I spit in his eye. He howled and pulled away from me to wipe at his eye, then quickly turned around and backhanded me across the face, hard. "That was a very stupid thing to do Heero. You will pay for that." I just gave him my best death glare. The drug he had given me was completely worn off now and I was already formulating a plan in my mind to escape. Right now though I had to bide time. I don't know what he did to get rid of the other nurses but I hope that they are alright. They were kind to me and I would hate to know that they were killed for such a pitiful reason. The doctor disappeared from my limited field of vision for a moment then came back holding a needle. I started to struggle in earnest now, desperate to get free before he stuck that in me. I saw him flick the syringe a couple of time to dispel any air bubbles before turning to me. "You know what this is Heero?" he asked "It's a drug to enhance mental abilities. Kind of like a steroid for the mind. Aren't you interested to see what this would do to someone with the Zero system?" he laughed at my horrified look before jabbing the needle roughly into my thigh. I fought as best I could against the system, against the drug, but it was useless. The last things I remember is hearing the sound of his maniacal laughter which followed me into darkness.

When I woke up it was to the complete darkness. I don't know how long I had been out, but apparently either nothing had happened with that drug or the doctor was dead and I was now free. Only, I was still tied to the hard surface of the operating table so obviously I wasn't that lucky. Suddenly the light above the table was turned on blinding me for several moments. I couldn't see anything around the brightness until the doctor pushed his face into my field of vision. He looked pissed, his whole face changed into one of pure hatred and anger. "What did you do! Nobody can completely rid themselves of the Zero system! How did you do it!" he spat at me. My eyes widened in surprise, I was rid of the Zero system? Then I was free to go home! To go to Duo! I tried to keep my face still and not show anything but the doctor still must have seen something. "Oh, don't think you are free just yet. I'm not done playing with you yet. I may no longer be able to use you as my personal soldier, but I can still use you for…" he trailed off as his eyes traveled down my body, "other things." He finally finished reaching up to give my balls a squeeze with one hand and run his other hand down my chest.

I started to struggle, to thrash around anything to get that hand off of me. "No! Don't touch me you sick bastard! Leave me alone!" I cried out as his hand grabbed my limp dick and squeezed. "You know Heero, " he started sounding very nonchalant, "You really do have a very nice, perfect, body. You have grown into a fine young man. I think I deserve a taste before I even think about releasing you. By releasing you, I mean to kill you. I can't have you going to the cops about this now can I?" As he was talking he was removing his clothes. I was getting more and more panicky as the time passed. Suddenly he was on top of me, his already hard member pressing into me. I felt bile rising in my throat and wanted to push him away more than anything. I struggled more with my hands now, the ropes cutting into my wrists making me bleed. Blood was ok though, it could be used as a sort of lube to help me slip out of the ropes. I was hoping that I could make that work. I worked harder at my wrists now, moaning in pain at the terrible rope burns. Apparently he took the moan as meaning something else and chuckled lightly, "Ah, my little Heero. Are you ready for me? I think I am ready for you." Without any warning or preparation he slammed into me and I did something I never thought I would do at enemy hands, I screamed. He thought that the whole thing was quite funny somehow, "I guess even you can scream Mr. Perfect Soldier. Not so perfect now are you!" I couldn't help it, I screamed and cried and begged for him to stop but it was all to no avail. He stopped only when he was done. Then once he was dressed, he stuck another needle in me claiming it was nutrients to keep me healthy and left.

I lay there for many hours' afterwards feeling more broken than I ever had during the war. During the war when I had been captured, I had been tortured, but never like this, and I never before screamed. I was feeling dirty and I hurt all over. I wanted to just give in and give up, but I knew I had Duo waiting for me at our little house in the woods. I still wanted more than anything to just be home with him. I knew I needed to escape. The blood on my hands was completely dried now and useless. I had lost my chance with that for the moment anyway. I knew I had to reopen the wounds on my wrists and try again, I also knew that it would hurt like a bitch. Quickly, before I could lose my nerve I started tugging back and forth on one of the ropes. I don't know what happened but the ropes binding my left wrist suddenly felt looser than they had earlier. It was a very small minute amount but it was enough to give me hope. I kept tugging, pushing, and pulling until I felt the blood again and did my best to flatten my hand and pull it through the ropes. I could just feel my hand starting to slide through the ropes when heard footsteps. I quickly pushed my hand back through, knowing that it was loose enough now to work with. The hope was there, it wouldn't last long however, for every time I came close to pulling one hand free, he would once again appear before me and either drug me again, or force himself on me once more.

I don't know how long this continued, his daily torture. I had no way of knowing the passage of time as there were no windows anywhere nearby and the only time there was light was when the doctor was with me. My internal clock told me that only days had past, but the doctor let slip just once that one of the drugs he had given me didn't work as planned since it had knocked me out for nearly a week. So the amount of time I spent tied to that hard metal surface with my hands and feet bound is entirely unknown. All I knew was that I still had not managed to break free even though one of my bonds was loose. That in an of itself was disturbing. This last round of his had left me feeling quite numb to everything and even the stillness of sleep would not come to me. I was suddenly very afraid, I had never been afraid of anything before, but now I was.

The room was very dark and still once again. The Doctor having left some time ago to do whatever it is he did. For once I wasn't drugged, which was more of a curse than a blessing because it then left me alone with me thoughts. Without warning a chill passed over me, he was coming back I just knew it. It was too soon for him to be back, it didn't fit his normal pattern at all. I could hear the telltale footsteps rapidly approaching, signaling that my feelings were correct and he was indeed coming footsteps got louder and closer and only stopped once they were right beside me. Once that horrible light was turned back on and I saw the doctor I was surprised to see him looking so angry. He was definitely less than pleased with something. "D-Doctor? Is something wrong?" I ventured trying to sound interested in him. Maybe if I could keep him talking long enough he wouldn't have time to do anything with me. "Yes, you damned brat! That abomination Lady Une, keeps bugging me about you! Now she wants to come and see you herself!" he was pacing angrily around the small room. I was straining to turn my head and keep up with him. "So, what are you going to do?" I asked unable to keep the fear from my voice. His smirk was murderous and as he turned it on me I grew very cold and did my best to shrink away, "Why, my little Heero, I'm going to kill you of course!" I think he sounded way to happy about that and I did my best not to cry out. "But don't worry; I'll make it look like you killed yourself. You just couldn't part with the Zero system, you had grown to love it and when I discovered how to do away with it, you lashed out at me and killed yourself in the process by a brain aneurism. It's all planned out already so no need to worry." I gaped at him then and couldn't believe what he was saying. I knew I needed to get out of here and soon. I had to be able to buy some more time. "When are you planning on doing this?" I timidly got out. "Hmm…." He pondered rubbing his hand down his chin, "Maybe in two days time. She won't be here until next week so I've got some time. Besides, I want to taste you again, you are entirely too delicious, I want another go." I shuddered suddenly horrified at the thought of him touching me again. "Please…. No….." I begged but knew it would do no good. He just laughed while taking off his clothing before starting the torture all over again.

Once he was finished and cleaned up he cleaned me up some. At least he had the decency to do that much. When he was done with that he left without a word. I lay there for a while feeling spent and broken, I think I even slept some I don't know but I do know that quite some time passed and once I finally came to I immediately got back to work on freeing myself. I just about had one hand free when a thought suddenly stopped me, even if I was able to get out of here, how would I convince Une that the doctor was wrong? That he was crazy, and that he had done horrible things? I could still feel some of his seed inside me and knew that if I could find a way to preserve that, than I could use that as evidence. I was grateful for one thing at least, this whole fiasco had proved that the Zero system was truly gone from my system and that I could return home knowing that I wouldn't be a danger to Duo in anyway. I stopped my thoughts and continued to move my upper body more and more to try and slip my hand free. I was rolled almost completely onto my side when my hand finally slipped free. I almost let out a cry of triumph but held it in just in case he was somewhere he could hear me. I quickly untied the rope holding my other hand and started work on my feet when I heard footsteps again. I quickly laid down and spread my arms back out hoping that he wouldn't notice the ropes gone. I lay there praying to all of the gods I could think of to let him just not notice. However, I was entirely unprepared for the site that greeted me when the light was turned on.

Oooh! A cliffhanger! And you'll never guess what it is! I dare you to try, I would so _love_ to know just whats running through everyones brains just now. Please share your thoughts! Also, I'll be posting the next chapter hopefully in just another couple of days. Enjoy everyone!

Tsuzukinyo


	4. Chapter 4

Hello again all! Ok! Another chapter!

First tho, I want to dedicate this chapter to my ONE AND ONLY reviewer! Thank you Voldyismoldy! You are the only person that has sent me a review. C-mon people! Say SOMETHING! lol I need to know that I'm doing to. Thank you to all of you that have me on your story alerts list as well. Just so you all know, I'm working on two other stories besides this one. One is a fantasy/sci-fi where Heero goes to another planet that is rumored to be like earth in search of intelligent life, and finds Duo, a Nekito! The Nekito's are very similar to the Na'vi people of Pandora, only they have bigger ears and are different colors, not blue. Nekito's are also not nearly as big as a Na'vi and the planet they are on is nearly identicle to earth. The story involves Heero, Duo, Quatre, and Trowa as the main characters, who together have to figure out how to save this wonderful new world from human interaction. No, its not going to be like Avatar, well maybe in a couple ways, but theres no teaching Heero or Trowa. Wufei is so far not in the story at all, but that may change in time. The second story is about a fallen Angel, its his story all about why he fell and who he fell for. Let me know if any of these sound interesting! Thanks for reading! Now on to the story!

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Chapter 4

I lay completely still after the light was turned on and waited for the doctor to come within sight. When he did my heart froze. In his arms was something, something dark, and dripping with blood. I couldn't see around the light well enough to see what it was, even with straining my eyes. It was long and started out thick on one end and ended up much thinner on the other. A snake? perhaps? I wouldn't have realized that it was covered in blood except for the sound of it dripping on the floor, each drop hitting the ground with a loud smack and echoing off the walls. My eyes moved up to the Doctors face and I immediately noticed that the doctors eyes were unfocused and strange, and eerily glowing. He looked like he was on something, definitely not in his right mind, not that he ever was, but this was worse than usual. "I've figured it out my little Heero! I know how to draw the Zero system out of you again!" he cackled out, his voice rising and falling in pitch in a strangled sort of half laugh half language that I could only just barely make out. Without warning he threw the blooded thing on me and in my surprise I almost brought my hands up to catch it, but caught myself at the last second. No matter how out of sorts he was, he would definitely notice my hands being free if I did that. So far he hadn't noticed. The thing landed on my chest with a wet smack and as I focused in on it and realized what it was, I found myself unable to breath. It was a long chestnut braid, coated in blood. "No!" I whispered. His laughter drew my eyes away from the blooded hair and onto him. "Oh yes! I found out that you lived with the little slut! You should have heard him, screaming your name to the last breath! HAHAHAHAHA! He's dead! I killed him! I strangled him with his very own braid! It was beautiful my little Heero. You should have been there, to see him begging and pleading like the pitiful little whelp that he is!" he was once again laughing in that long crazy evil laugh that I had grown to hate so much. I looked down at the braid on my chest, blood dripping down across my ribs and onto the floor, hoping and praying that it wasn't true, it couldn't be true. He couldn't have killed Duo. There was no way! I was soo busy with my sorrow and focus on the braid that I didn't even notice when he had climbed on top of me. Reaching down he grabbed the braid, pulled his dick out and proceeded to coat it in the blood, then he rubbed the slimy thing all over me. He started with my chest and moved down to my stomach, covering me in the bright red substance before tossing the braid over one of my arms and slamming himself into me all the while laughing.

For the first minute I just laid there letting him use me. What was the point, at least once he killed me I would be with Duo again. Oh Duo! No! No! No! I shook my head violently. No, I couldn't give up. Duo could still be alive and even if he wasn't I must avenge him! I could feel the rage building within me, the stupid doctor was so lost in his slamming into my body that he didn't even notice when my hands came around and grabbed the long braid. Before he even knew what hit him I had the braid wrapped around his neck and pulled so tight that I broke the bastards neck. The whole thing took less than 3 seconds and I quickly pushed his now dead body off of me before losing it completely. I screamed as loud as I could, for as long as I could, before passing out completely the rage and sorrow and pain having used up what little energy that remained. My last thought before the darkness consumed me was of Duo, "I'm coming Duo, I'll be home soon...".

When I woke I was in a completely different room. One I didn't recognize. 'Great' I thought 'once all the hard work was done then I finally get a rescue…' I looked around the room taking stock of my surroundings. The room was small but friendly. The bed I was in was definitely a hospital bed but the room itself didn't look like a hospital room. It had a nightstand and a dresser against the far wall. A TV was mounted to the corner up by the ceiling and over by the door was a smaller door to what I guessed was a bathroom. It was almost like a hotel room. The best part about it was that I was covered in blankets and was wearing clothes! I never thought I would love wearing hospital pajamas so much. I took a minute to run my hand over my clothed chest, reveling in the feel of the fabric against my skin. The soft cotton was amazing and felt so familiar yet new to me, I loved it. I moved my hand down to the sheets of the bed I was laying in, soft and warm. I felt like I had never experienced warmth before and cuddled a little more into the blankets before looking around the room. I was sad to notice that I was alone in the room, this time Duo wasn't with me. I choked back a sob, realizing that it could be true that the bastard had killed him. I wondered how long I had been in here, there were flowers covering every available surface and cards around them as well. It looked like I'd been out for quite a while. I looked up as I heard the door opening, allowing myself to hope but I couldn't help the obvious disappointment on my face when it was Wufei that entered. "As pleased as I am that you are finally awake, you could look a little happier to see me." He joked.

I looked up at him and just stared blankly, unable to muster up any sort of emotion at the moment. Wufei just shook his head and sauntered over to me. "You gave us quite a scare you know" he stated calmly while pulling up a chair to sit beside my bed. I turned away from him to look out the window. I had nothing to say to those that had left me in that place, forgotten and abused. I felt a small touch to my arm and violently jumped away from it fear making itself evident in every part of my body. I turned to look at Wufei who had a hurt look in his eyes. "Look Heero, "he started, pleading with me "We didn't know what was happening. That doctor sent us pictures and updates of you. He even sent a video once of you talking and laughing with the nurses! You looked like you were doing well. He told us that it was normal for the treatment to take six months or longer and we trusted him. God above, Heero, we are soo sorry. All of us. We never thought he would do something like this." I turned away from him then and went back to staring vacantly out the window. It was winter. I'd been gone since spring, I lost almost a year of my life to that place. I didn't want to talk, not to Wufei not to anyone. I just wanted Duo and he was gone now. He tried a few more times to get me to talk by telling me of what was happening. He spoke for a long while on how there wasn't even going to be a trial because I obviously acted in self-defense. I wanted to ask him how long ago I was found, how long I had been in this hospital but it didn't matter now. Nothing mattered now.

When it was obvious that I wasn't going to speak he whispered something else softly and left the room allowing another person to come in a grovel at my feet. I don't know how many people tried to come in and get me to talk but I ignored everyone and just continued to stare out the window. I was enjoying watching the snow storm outside. It was as if I was looking into my own tormented soul swirling wildly around in an angry dance of wind, snow, and ice. It was oddly comforting, and before I knew it, it was night once more.

At some point I must have dosed off because when I woke up I could hear someone outside my door arguing. "What the hell man! Why didn't you tell me he had woke up!" my eyes widened, that voice…. "I am sorry, you were at work and when I tried to call you were always busy!" that was Wufei's voice. Then the other voice again "Ok fine, but did he say anything? Did he even ask for me?" the first voice again. "No, I'm afraid we have been unable to get him to talk so far. Perhaps you will have more luck, he's hasn't uttered a single word since he woke up..." Before my brain could catch up with my body I was stumbling out of bed and running towards the voice that I knew so well. My heart was in my throat as I flung the door open causing the two to stop mid-argument and turn shocked faces towards me.

When I first laid eyes on him my mind went blank for just a moment. He was there, he was alive! My Duo! He was alive. I couldn't stop it then, the pain, the fear, the frustration and hurt and sorrow all came out. With tears now pouring down my face I launched myself into Duo's arms, crying out his name. "Duo!" It was all I could say, over and over again like some healing mantra. I could not stop crying, I'd never cried like this before in my life but even the perfect soldier has to break down some time I guess. Duo must have sent Wufei a glare because he then bowed and turned and left. Duo gently picked me up and carried me back to my room and laid me in my bed. He tried to let me go, but I wasn't having any of it. Finally with a soft laugh he crawled in beside me, wrapped me in his arms and allowed me to cry myself to sleep without any questions.

I woke up the next morning thinking that it must have all been a dream; that I was still back with that damned doctor. I felt a weight on my chest and could feel the panic rise up within me. My heart beat and breathing must have increased considerably because suddenly the weight was lifted and a soft voice was whispering in my ear, "Heero, it's ok. Your safe now." I squeezed my eyes shut and willed my breathing to even out before the voice continued, "Its ok now, Heero. Open your eyes love." I slowly opened my eyes and was greeted with the best sight ever. Duo was leaning over me with his face right in front me me and those beautiful violet eyes that I adored so much filled with concern were directed solely on me. I let out a breath of relief and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. As tightly pressed against me as he was, I could feel him smile. He pushed himself back just enough that we could look at each other. "I missed you sooo much Hee-chan." He whispered as he lazily drew patterns on my chest and stomach with his fingers. I finally decided it was safe to talk a little. "Duo…. I thought I had lost you. The doctor…." I swallowed audibly before continuing "The doctor told me that he had killed you. He had a long braid that looked like yours and was covered in blood. He said that he finally figured out how to bring out the Zero system in me and that he had killed you. I couldn't handle it! The thought of losing you was worse than anything else! I lost all reason and when I finally was able to free myself I broke the bastards neck using that very same braid that I thought was yours." I let out another strangled sob at the memories that came flooding back "Duo, I was so afraid of losing you. I can't do that again. It killed me the first time. When I heard your voice outside my door I felt like life had been breathed into me again. You are my life Duo. I love you, I love you more than anything, more than anyone." I was crying in ernest now, the sobs shaking my entire body. I felt a light kiss being pressed to my temple before a heavy weight was pressed down on my chest. I opened my eyes enough to see that Duo was now laying completely on top of me. I felt him chuckle lightly before commenting, "well, that explains your reaction to me yesterday." After pressing a soft kiss to my cheek, he tucked his head under my chin and I heard him let out a whisper, "I love you too Heero"

We must have drifted back to sleep because I was woken up by a loud voice, "Mr. Maxwell!" it was one of the nurses and we had been caught in bed together. "Yeah, yeah… whats all the noise about Mary?" Duo mumbled still half asleep himself. The one I can only presume was Mary spoke up again in a harsh tone, "Mr. Maxwell, you know very well that we don't allow patients to share beds with anyone!" Duo just chuckled at this, "Yeah I know, but tell that to him!" I had my eyes open now and was giving my best death glare to the nurse. She was a short pudgy person with mousey brown hair pulled back in a tight bun and soft brown eyes that hid nothing. She took one look at my glare and actually seemed to find it very funny. "Now, Mr. Yuy, You're still recovering so you're going to have to let Mr. Maxwell go so that I can do my job. I can only feed one of you and it's time for your breakfast." I growled loudly and tightened my hold on Duo. There was no way I was letting him go now. Duo laughed again and gently pushed against my arms, "Heero baby, " he whispered just loud enough that I could hear. "C-mon love, let me go for just a bit. I'll run to the bathroom and then go get some food for myself. I'll even get it to go so that I can come back up here and eat with you. Ok?" I grunted and reluctantly pulled my arms away and sat up. He scrambled out of bed, got scolded again by nurse Mary, and quickly ducked into the bathroom. By the time he came out I was sitting up in bed with a tray of food in front of me. He smiled at me and looked around the room, I'm guessing to make sure Mary was gone before pressing his lips to mine in a quick kiss. Just as he was turning to walk away I grabbed his arm, preventing him from going further. I gave him a pleading look and squeezed just a little. He seemed to understand what I was trying to say and gently removed my hand. Giving my hand a soft squeeze he smiled and said, "Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it." Then with a kiss blown in my direction he was out the door.

After he left I stared at the door for a long while not sure what to do with myself. I turned back to my food wondering what I was supposed to do with it. I suddenly felt very very helpless. I don't know how long that doctor had me tied to that bed, but during the entire time, he never once fed me. All he did was pump me full of nutrients to keep me "healthy". I realized quickly that I did not want this food and the more I thought about it, the more sick it made me. I just barely made it to the bathroom in time before throwing up all the fluids that I had in. Making my way slowly back to bed, I pushed the offending tray away before finally taking stock of my own condition. I was terribly thin. I could easily count all of my ribs just by lifting my shirt. My wrists were still raw and heavily bandaged and I was guessing I had stitches in at least one. When Duo got back I would ask him to read the hospital report to me of everything that was wrong. Thinking about Duo brought forward the fact that he wasn't back yet. It had probably only been about five minutes but each second seemed like an eternity. I looked up at the clock hanging on the wall and watched each second tick by. I don't really know what happened after that, one minute I was just looking at the clock and the next Duo was shaking me. I blinked a few times and turned to him. "Duo? When did you get back?" He looked a little shocked at that question but shock quickly turned to concern. "Heero, when I walked in you didn't even notice I was here. I waved my hand in front of your face and everything. It took a full thirty seconds for you to respond. It was like you were in some sort of trance." I blinked in confusion, how could that happen? All I did was stare at the clock. I shook my head and looked once more at the clock before turning my full attention onto Duo. He glanced past me at my still untouched tray of food. "Heero," he questioned, "why didn't you eat anything?" I shrugged, "I didn't want it. I still don't. The very thought of it makes me want to hurl." I turned away and looked to the door, "Duo, can you do me a favor?" I asked still not looking at him "Sure Heero, Anything you want" I felt the bed dip down as he sat down next to me. "Can you get me the hospital report? I want to see just what all is wrong with me. Then I want to get out of here. I never want to see a hospital of any kind again." He smiled, grabbing my hand and pressing a kiss to it. "Now that I can do." He stood up and walked to the door, "Be back in a sec!" he called as he darted out the door.

He wasn't gone very long at all but when he came back he was reading what I can only guess was the report I had asked for. His brows were drawn together creating a very severe expression on his face that was a combination between concern, fear, and anger. I couldn't tell which emotion was winning. "Duo…." I spoke softly. "What does it say?" He quietly came over and sat down beside me again. He was very quiet and when he finally looked up at me, there were tears shimmering in his eyes. "God Heero! I can't believe you went through all of this! I'm soo sorry! I should have been there for you! I should have done something!" He was crying now, I smiled at the thought and pulled him into my arms. "Duo, love. It's ok, you couldn't have done anything! You didn't even know I was there! Please baby, don't be upset for me. I'm with you now and I'm not ever going to leave again." He pulled away from me and rubbed his eyes looking at the report again he spoke, softer this time, "Heero, do you really want to know what this says? Wont it be hard to hear?" I nodded, he was right it would be hard to hear. "Yes Duo, I need to hear it. I know most of what that bastard did to me, but I was unconscious a lot and don't know what he did during those times." Duo sighed and flipped back to the first page. I had sixteen stitches in my left wrist and 8 in my right, I had severe bruising and damage to the rectum as well as a broken ankle. Funny thing, I still have yet to even notice the ankle. It never once hurt. Still doesn't. Weird. I had several different drugs floating around in my system including, but not limited to; Mescaline (1), psilocybin (2), LSD, and Scopolamine (3), and PCP. Just to name a few. The bastard had tried every drug in the book on me to cause the Zero system to activate. The report also stated that I had been a victim of several different forms of abuse as well; sensory deprivation, isolation, and of course verbal and sexual abuse. I had obviously been exposed to hypnosis and would have to undergo several more sessions on that just to undo whatever was done. I sighed not believing how much happened without me even realizing it. Some perfect soldier I was. I couldn't even fight off one crazy doctor. I even went along with most of it willingly! It must have shown on my face what horrible thoughts were drifting through my head since Duo grabbed me and crushed me roughly to his chest. He was crying again, saying over and over how sorry he was. He wouldn't stop saying sorry.

We sat there, me in Duo's arms, Duo crying and whispering sorry over and over, for a good hour at least. Then out of nowhere my mind snapped, again… I was seriously losing what little bit of sanity I had left, I started to laugh. It all seemed so ridiculous all of a sudden! All of it! The war, the people, the "therapy", the crazy doctor, all of it! It was hysterical! I was laughing and laughing and couldn't stop. It was that same laugh that I used after destroying something with Wing, that cold unfeeling laugh. Duo grabbed my shoulders and shook me roughly trying to get me back to my senses. I knew he was yelling at me but I couldn't hear him, I was still laughing. He must have left me at some point because when next I knew a nurse was jabbing me in the arm with something to calm me down. As I slowly calmed and fell into a fitful sleep, my last thought was, 'great, more fucking drugs…' then, only darkness.

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1, 2, and 3 are all "natural" drugs that can cause hallucinations and play with your mind. 1)Mescaline is a natural drug that was onced used by the Native Americans for spiritual reasons. It is made from a cactus, and has been known to cause hallucinations. 2)Psilocybin is basically shrooms. Mushrooms, that when eaten can cause mild to moderate hallucinations depending on the situation. 3)Scopolamine is a drug used for treatment of nausea and motion sickness, treatment of intestinal cramping, for ophthalmic purposes, and as a general depressant and adjunct to narcotic painkillers. Although those are its primary uses, it can also cause hallucinations when overdosed. Also, when combined with other drugs, it causes the mind to disassociate with the body and "forget" about the pain. It doesn't stop the pain, but it causes the body to sort of forget that its there. All of these drugs are still around and used today and would be very easy for any doctor to get ahold of. Also, remember he was trying to mess with Heero's mind. I think the last drug explains why he never noticed his broken ankle. His brain has conveniently forgotten about it.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello again everyone! I'm sorry for the delay in posting this, but I decided to wait until I got some reviews on it. I do appriciate all of the people that have added me to their story alerts, that tells me that you are reading, but it doesn't tell me if I've done anything wrong. If you see any mistakes, or have any suggestions on the plot, please tell me. I'd really like to know what everyones thoughts are on this. Not only that, but the reviews are what keep me going. If no one reviews, then I will eventually just give up this story as a lost cause. So, with that being said I would like to thank my one and only reviewer: **Toola**! Thank you sooo much for your kind words! This chapter is for you! I hope it pleases you. :)

Any questions so far? no? then on to the story!

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Chapter 5

I woke early, before the sun even rose, the sky still bathed in black outside my window creating an eerie darkness across the still atmosphere. I had no idea how long I had slept this time and didn't really care. I opened my eyes and quickly scanned the room. I needed to get out of here; that was my only thought. I looked over at the dresser across from the bed wondering if there was any real clothing inside. I noticed Duo had not stayed the night with me this time, he probably got kicked out by the many nurses after they had to sedate me. I wasn't going to stick around for them to pump me full of anything else. I had enough and was going home providing I still had one at this point.

Making up my mind I swung my legs over the bed and slowly stood. My legs wobbled in weakness, it had been months since I last stood and walked. I grit my teeth with grim determination and padded my way over to the dresser only stumbling once in my weakened state. Once I got to the dresser I silently pulled open a drawer and was pleased to see jeans and a plain green t-shirt in there. I quickly dressed, looked around for anything I might need to take with me, not seeing anything of value I silently made my way over to the door. I opened it just enough to look out. The halls were deserted this early in the morning, only one single Nurse was behind the counter looking through some magazine in her obvious boredom. Perfect for me. Willing her to remain distracted I quickly slipped out and was in infiltration mode once more, my weak legs forgotten about for the time being. I didn't want to be seen, so I wouldn't. I made it all the way to the Elevator without being spotted. I decided to use the stairs since I would be to vulnerable in the elevator. I got down the four flights easily and slipped outside with no one the wiser. Then I realized I had made a huge mistake. It was the middle of winter, all I had was house shoes, jeans, and a light t-shirt. I would never make it home like this. I couldn't go back though! I refused to set foot back in that place! Deciding on a plan of action I walked out into the parking lot and made my way to employee parking. Seeing the guard in the small guard house, I crept up and tapped on his window then ducked down out of sight. I did this several times until he got so annoyed that he came outside. The moment he stepped out, my hand slammed down onto the back of his neck, rendering him unconscious. I dragged him back inside, took his warm coat and shoes and keys and made my way back outside. Inside the guardhouse was all the tools I needed to break into any car, so I grabbed a window jimmie and went over to the most inconspicuous car I could find; a small older model ford focus, perfect. I wasted no time in breaking in and hotwiring the little car. Once I got it started I said a silent apology, promising to return the car at a later date, and drove away.

Once out in town I realized I couldn't remember my address. I had no idea where I was going. I wracked my brain, trying desperately to remember where Duo's house was. After driving around for a good hour with no luck I pulled over beside an old phonebooth. Slamming my fist into the steering wheel in frustration I had to just sit for a minute and think. I didn't know the address, but I knew the name. I looked at the archaic GPS unit that was in the car with me and sighed. I doubt it would pull up Duo. He's only lived there for about a year, but it was worth a try. I went to the search area on the old thing called a 'garmin', man, people of old earth came up with some weird names for things. I typed in Duo's name, D-U-O M-A-X-W-E-L-L and was surprised at this list of results that came up. A ton of Maxwells popped up, but no Duo Maxwell. I sighed in frustration; there were three thousand Maxwells in the city of Sanq alone. Then a thought struck me, we didn't live in the city! We live just outside of it! I exited out of that screen and looked at a map of Sanq and the outlying areas. I must have been studying the map for a good hour before memories slowly started to come back to me. Plainfield rd! That was the name of the road our house was on! But I still couldn't remember the number. At least now I had a place to start. I backed up to GPS and typed in Duo Maxwell- Plainfield Rd. Two results popped up this time, a Duane Maxwell and a Deann Maxwell. One lived about a hundred miles away, so I clicked on the Duane Maxwell which was only 15 miles away and figured that must be it. I drove the whole way in silence hoping everything would start to look familiar soon.

I followed the GPS all the way to the start of Plainfield rd before turning it off. This was it, this should be home. I still didn't recognize anything, but that didn't matter I remembered what the house looked like and the fact that it was at the end of a road. I finally reached the end of the road and saw only trees. I was surprised, I know I remembered a house being here! Theres the forest…. I didn't dream up the whole house did I? I decided to wait until morning to finally arrive before making any more decisions. I turned the heat up full blast for a bit before turning the car completely off. I only had to wait about 2 more hours before daylight hit, so I should be able to last that long with no problems. I leaned my chair back and closed my eyes, hoping to get a little bit of sleep. The sun peaking over the trees is what finally woke me as daylight hit with full force. It was a little later than I meant to sleep, but as I sat up and looked around I decided that it was just fine. I smiled as I finally spotted the small driveway to our house hidden by the trees. I cranked the engine over and rolled up to the house. I don't know how long I sat there just staring at the house that I thought was too good to be true. I quickly got out of the car and made my way through the gate and up to the front door. I was just running my hand over the beautiful art when the door swung open and I came face-to-face with my love, Duo Maxwell. He was obviously on his way out the door and juggling a lot. He had a doughnut shoved in his mouth, a paper in one hand, and a coffee mug in the other. His eyes about bugged out of his head when he saw me, I couldn't help it. I smiled, "Duane Maxwell I presume?" and just before his doughnut could fall I reached out and grabbed it between my own teeth. He was so dumbfounded that he didn't even know which way to go. I took a bite of the doughnut and immediately felt bile rise up in my throat. I forced that one bite down anyway, now was not the time to show weakness. After swallowing I smiled at him and gently took his coffee mug from his hand before he dropped it and risked injuring us both. "He-Heero? How? Why? When?" he sputterd. I just laughed and gently pushed him back into the house. I led him to the couch and gently pushed him down onto it. After he was seated I took the paper from him and set it and the coffee mug down on the table. Once everything was out of the way I eased myself down onto the couch, only instead of sitting beside Duo, I straddled his thighs and sat right down on his lap. This seemed to help him get over his shock and he wrapped his arms around me pulling me closer. I put one hand on either side of his face and pulled him into a deep kiss. I poured everything into that kiss, all my love, wants and need for him as well as my happiness at finally being home again. It was a mind-numbing, toe tingling kiss that left us both breathless.

Once we pulled away from the kiss I rested my forehead against his and smiled. He smiled as well and stated the obvious, "wow!" he said. I laughed, yes I had to agree. Wow was right. I hugged him tightly and layed my head on his shoulder. He ran his hand up and down my back slowly rubbing away any tension I might have had. "Why didn't you wait for me Heero? I was planning on bringing you home as soon as possible. Did they release you? Or did you just leave? What happened?" he asked and I was obligated to answer. I didn't want to tell him that I broke out, that I wasn't strong enough to stay in that place even a moment longer, but, before I could stop it the words came tumbling out of me. I told him everything, how I escaped, how I knocked out the guard, stole the car, and even how I couldn't remember our address. That was the hardest part, telling him I had forgotten where we lived. He didn't say a word throughout my whole speal and looked like he was about to say something when the phone rang. He reached over to the side table and picked up the one that was there, "Maxwell," was all that was said in greeting. "Uh huh, yes. He's here with me." A pause while the other person spoke "No, I understand but he is not going back there. He's had enough of hospitals and so have I. I will be able to take care of him just fine here." Another pause and a flash of anger through Duo's eyes, "Absolutely not!" he yelled, "No, the car is here and it is fine I will bring it back myself and issue a full apology to the guard. I don't care what lawyer I have to get, I will make sure that Heero is never in a hospital or a jail ever again. If the only crimes you can come up with are auto theft and assault then you won't win buddy. I've got Quatre Winner and his lawyers on my side. You wouldn't want me to press charges for everything that was done to Heero while in your Psychiatric ward now would you?" a pause with an evil smirk. "That's what I thought. I'm glad we understand each other. Heh, you too buddy…" he all but slammed the phone down. "I can't believe those assholes! They had the gall to want to press charges for your leaving, knocking out the guard and grand theft auto moves. I can understand the guard and the car thing but leaving? I didn't realize it was against the law to leave on your own!" I smiled and kissed Duo right on his currently pouting lips. "I'm sorry Duo, I seem to be nothing but trouble to you. " Duo immediately stopped pouting and hugged me tight. "No Heero, don't ever think that you are trouble. I love you and would do anything for you."

We sat holding each other silently for a while after that, just enjoying the moment. The elation that I felt to be home with Duo in my arms was indescribable. Neither one of us moved for the longest while, until I heard a knock on the door. Groaning in frustration Duo gently pulled away from me and walked over to the door. With a growl Duo roughly swung the door open, a scowl already on his face for the offender that dared to disturb them already pasted onto his face. Once the door was open Duo's scowl almost immediately left his face as recognition dawned on him followed quickly by surprise. The person standing there was one of the last people Duo expected to see on this particular day.

Quatre Winner stood just outside the door with a very serious look on his face. The two were silently staring at each other through the door, one in shock, the other with an unreadable yet determined look in his eyes. Quatre swallowed once before finally speaking up, his voice coming out sounding desperately solemn, "Hello Duo, " he said. "Is Heero here? I must speak with him." Duo sighed and pulled the door open wider waving his arm in Heero's direction and allowing Quatre to step fully inside the house. Once inside Quatre looked over to where Heero was seated still on the couch, a look of relief instantly passed over his face before he broke out in a soft smile, "Heero." He stated before quickly striding over to me. Quatre kneeled on the soft plush rug in front of the couch before grasping my hands in his own. "Heero! I'm sooo glad to see your alright!" His eyes bore into mine pleading with me while sending me all the concern he could. I couldn't help it, I smiled, "Yes Quatre I am alright. Much better now that I am home." I looked up at Duo who was now standing beside the couch, looking down on the us. I reached over and grabbed Duo's hand, holding it tightly. "This is what makes me alright Quatre, without Duo I wouldn't have made it." My eyes never left Duo's whileI spoke, silently conveying to Duo what words could not. Quatre smiled, eyes darting between us, "I'm so glad you two are happy together, I always knew you were meant for each other. But, that is not what I came here for, Heero, we really must talk." He was still kneeling in front of me as I nodded slowly, "Alright, but lets get a bit more comfortable first? Duo?"I glanced back to Duo as he responded with just a silent questioning look. "Would you care to make us some tea, Please?" I asked. He gave a soft smile and nodded once before turning on his heel and almost bolting to the kitchen. "Quatre please, have a seat up here. I promise I wont mind if you sit next to me." Quatre smiled letting out a soft chuckle before plopping down beside me. "Ok, Heero. I think you know what I am about to talk to you about." I nodded I had a really good idea anyway, "The Zero system?" I ventured. He just nodded solemnly. "Heero, I am truly sorry that I did not tell you of this sooner. I had my breakdown a while ago and should have warned you and offered help right away. Instead I hid it from you, from as many of my friends as possible. I was ashamed that I had lost control, I thought you guys wouldn't trust me anymore. I thought I would lose all of you if you found out." I snorted at this drawing his attention back to me and away from his fidgeting hands in his lap. "I was being stupid, I know that now and I'm really really sorry. I cannot tell you enough how sorry I am. I-" I cut him off with a raised hand before he continued. Looking him straight in the eyes I spoke softly, "Quatre, you had no way of knowing when or if the same thing would happen to me. It did, but that is in no way your fault. As for everything that happened after my episode, you certainly couldn't have known that would happen! Quatre, please do no beat yourself up about this. It's not now, or ever was in any way, your fault." Quatre seem to brighten up at this and raised his head and eyes, smiling at me. "Thank you Heero. I am very glad to see that you feel that way. I truly do care about you." He looked over my shoulder then at Duo who had just appeared behind me. He was now scowling while holding a tray laden with tea cups and a tea pot. He quickly set it down on the coffee table and looked from me to Quatre in question. I reached up and snaked my arm around his waist pulling him down on top of me. I meant to have him sit on my lap, but as soon as his weight settled on me fear welled up within me as memories started to surface. Duo seemed to sense this and without missing a beat quickly stood up, pulled me up, and we swapped places. Now I was sitting on Duos lap, the fear slowly fading away. Once we were settled Duo finally spoke up, "So whats this about you caring for my boyfriend?" he asked with a mock glare aimed right at the young blond. Quatre just giggled, "That's right Duo, I care about him. He's no Trowa tho, so don't worry. He's safe from me" he winked at Duo then making Duo laugh softly. "So, what did I miss?" he asked. I snorted, "Quatre being stupid." I gave no other explanation and Quatre just shrugged.

We lapsed into silence for a minute before Quatre cleared his throat and hesitantly continued, "Heero, I have an idea I would like to run by you". I raised an eye brow in question urging him to continue. "Heero… I know this will be hard for you, but please hear me out before you deny me. Please?" I nodded once, watching as he poured himself some tea and took a small sip. "Heero, I would like to offer you the services of my Therapist." At my immediate scowl he started talking faster. "Please know that I would never offer up the services of someone that I didn't trust completely. I realize you have had a terrible time with "Therapists" so far but she is really good. I promise. She's the one that helped me get on with my life after my zero attack. She also has a history of doing wonderful things for victims of sexual assault" My eyes narrowed. I understood how he knew about my Zero system attack, that one was obvious, but how did he know about the rest. "Quatre…" my voice started, sounding dangerously low. "How much do you know, and how do you know?" His eyes widened his mouth going into a small 'O' of surprise. He apparently didn't mean to say that last part and slipped up a bit. "Heero, please understand I was just very worried about you. I consider you to be my family and I had to know what happened to you. You're not the only one that is good with computers you know. If it helps any then I swear I didn't tell a soul. Not even Trowa. I just told him the basics of what happened, but not all that was recorded." His hands were twisting around themselves in his lap again, obviously nervous. I took a deep breath willing myself to not get mad, it was too late now anyway. "Fine Quatre, but next time, why don't you try just asking instead of hacking your way into my private life!" Duo's arms tightened around me then, offering silent reassurance. Quatre looked slightly hurt at my sharp tone before letting out a quick apology. "I'm truly sorry Heero, I meant no offense. I thought… I don't know what I thought, but at the time I believed what I was doing was justified, although I realize now that it was not." I nodded, showing that I had accepted his apology. "So," he began before the silence could overtake us again. "About my Therapist, please at least give her some thought. I swear she is trustworthy and dependable. I know that right now you don't want to talk to anyone about anything, but if you don't get immediate help for this, it could destroy you later on down the road. Please Heero, at least think about it." He glanced at the clock then and slowly stood up. Putting his now empty tea cup down he smiled down at us, "Well, I really must be going. I have a shuttle to catch and I've taken up enough of your time as it is." Duo and I quickly disentangled ourselves and stood up to escort him to the door. Once at the door we said our quick goodbyes, hugs were exchanged along with promises to keep in touch, and he was out the door and into the waiting car.

Duo slowly shut the door before turning back to look at me. I suddenly felt very weary, I wanted nothing more than to just go into my bedroom and close the door to the rest of the world forever. Duo held his arms out to me and without hesitation I took the one step forward and leaned into him, his arms instantly wrapping themselves around me. "Why don't you go lay down while I make us something to eat?" he whispered in my ear. I nodded silently and pulled away gently before striding back into my old room and collapsing on the bed, I was asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.

I opened my eyes to a blinding light, I couldn't see anything other than the light that was right in front of my face. I turned my head to try and see something, anything, beyond the light. Without warning the light was moved to the side and _his_ head appeared in my field of vision. I tried to scream but no sound came out. 'No! He's dead! I killed him!' He laughed, that evil, crazed sound reverberating off of the walls. "Whats wrong my little Heero?" he hissed. "I killed you! Your dead!" he laughed louder, "Now, Heero, you know that's not possible. You could never kill me. You have been out cold for a long time though. I must have given you too much in that last dose of 'Scopolamine'. This drug can cause you to hallucinate if too much is given, of course the others can too, combine all of them and your sure to see something. Did you see something my little Heero?" I blinked, this couldn't be real. How could this be happening again? I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to transport myself back to my house with Duo. I felt a few tears slip out and start to trail down my cheek, a hand came up and almost gently, wiped them away. "Ah, Do not worry my little Heero. I will always be here to comfort you. I am a part of you now, and will never leave you." The hand pulled away then and when no other touch came, I slowly opened my eyes and looked over at him. He had another needle in his hand, I took one look at it and panicked. I started to thrash around madly noting that this must be real, since I could not use my arms. He laughed and brought the needle closer, I screamed and thrashed and squeezed my eyes shut. I felt a hand brush over my forehead. A voice was whispering in my ear, "My little Heero" it was saying. I heard my name over and over "My little Heero"  
>"My Heero." It was getting softer now. I must be losing consciousness. Funny, I didn't even feel the needle go in this time. "Heero…" again, still softer yet, I've stopped thrashing now and fresh tears are spilling down my cheeks. "Heero!" the voice is starting to sound different now. It's taken on a new octave and has a more urgent tone to it. I can't imagine why that bastard doc would sound urgent but there it is. "Heero!" more urgent still, but I can't do anything about it. My eyes feel too heavy, I can't open them. "Heero…. Please!" I squeeze my eyes for another second before slowly opening them again, I didn't want to see the bright light or the surrounding darkness. I didn't want to see the doctor in his pristine white coat and matching silvery hair. I didn't want to see any of it, because if I saw it I would know that my being back with Duo wasn't real, and it had to be real. I was still crying causing my vision to be blurred. Nothing looked familiar, blurred as it was, all I could see was light surrounded by darkness. I was still there! I started to struggle to free my arms, but they were pinned down, as usual. I started thrashing again. There was a weight on top of me once more, this realization made me thrash even harder, "No! Get off! Leave me alone!" I was screaming and fighting with every bit of strength I had. In my panic I had closed my eyes again, anything to block out what I knew surrounded me. "Heero! Calm down!" The voice again, only it was different this time. Something in the back of my mind kept telling me to listen to this voice, but I ignored it, my current panic too great. I began struggling more now, I knew I had to break free; it was my single thought, my only focus. The weight on top of me changed its position letting out a colorful stream of curses as one of my legs met them in a solid kick. As my struggles gained in strength, slowly the realization dawned on me that my arms were in a different position than usual. They had been tied so that my arms were straight with only my wrists bound by a thin rough rope. Now though, it felt different. My arms were pinned to my sides with the heavy weight that was on top of me. Also my legs were free, and I was no longer laying on a hard surface but a soft one. Once all of this became clear I stopped all struggling and went very still, keeping my eyes closed in fear of it all being a dream. "Heero?" came the soft inquiry. No, it wasn't real! I couldn't trust it to be! "Heero! It's alright! Open your eyes!" the voice again, only now it was sounding more panicked then before. I was no longer crying at this point and slowly opened my eyes expecting to see that damned light above me or white ceiling, what I did see was so much more than I could have hoped for. What I saw made me feel like a man lost in the desert coming face to face with an oasis, one that he thought was an illusion, only to find out it was real. I opened my eyes and was met by deep violet orbs staring back at me, full of concern, pain, and yes, even terror. I blinked a few times in disbelief before slowly looking around. I was in my room…. I looked back at Duo he was on top of me his arms pinning mine to my sides while sitting on my legs. It was Duo all along. Realization hit me then, that I could have seriously hurt Duo. The very thought made me nausous and I could feel bile rising in the back of my throat. I could have hurt Duo… I could have seriously hurt him!<p>

"Heero…its me…. You know that now right?" He asked searching my face waiting for a response. I nodded dumbly, too afraid to speak. The words wouldn't come right now anyway. He slowly released me and moved off me to lie beside me on the bed. I felt the tears rise up in me again. I couldn't believe all this. Me, the Perfect Soldier, reduced to this…. This, weeping weak mess that couldn't even keep himself together for five minutes! I couldn't understand how I became like this. I couldn't even protect myself, how could I ever even hope to protect Duo in the future? I was so lost in self doubt and hatred that I didn't even notice when two arms wrapped around me from my right side. "Are you ok now, love?" Duo asked, squeezing me gently. "I was really worried ya know? You really scared me." I still couldn't look at him. I could only think to myself, 'great! Now he's afraid of me!'. "Heero… can you tell me about it? I mean, you were sleeping peacefully at first then suddenly started screaming." He paused for just a moment appearing to gather his thoughts. "You wouldn't stop screaming and I went to wake you up, you got even worse. I thought if I just said your name you would wake up, but you didn't. I shook your shoulders but that didn't seem to help either. Finally your thrashing was so bad that I knew I had to restrain you before you hurt yourself. I'm sorry Heero, I'm soo sorry! I should have realized that me restraining you would make you think the worse." I could feel him start to shake and knew that he was fighting with all he had to hold it together and appear strong. I rolled over in his arms so that we were face to face. "Duo," I started. "I'm sorry. I…I didn't know it was you. I thought… " I had to choke back a sob. Gods above I was so weak, a grown man crying like a baby over a mere memory. He rubbed my back and soothed me with his words, "Shhh, Heero. It's ok love. You didn't hurt me, well maybe my pride was a little hurt but that's it. You're even stronger than me in your sleep!" I gave a soft snort at this. I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but the only thing that saying that let me know was that I could have really truly hurt him, even though I was "asleep". This line of thought brought my mind back to my so called dream. "Duo," I said softly fighting back more tears. "I don't know whats real anymore!" He looked startled by this revelation but wisely said nothing, knowing that I would elaborate on my own. "That dream…. It _felt_ real! I could feel everything; the hard metal table biting into my back, the feel of skin on my head as his hand touched me, the light burning the back of my eyelids. I could even hear his voice. He said that the drugs he gave me caused me to hallucinate all of this, and he wanted to know what it made me see." The more I said the faster it came out, in a panicky rushed tone of someone on the very brink of insanity. I was shaking now, all over but no longer crying. "Heero, don't worry. I promise this is the real deal. I'm here with you now. Focus on that. As for the rest, I can explain most all of it." I stared at him blankly, not compelling him to elaborate, but not stopping him either. He went with the former and decided to continue, "As far as feeling the hard table under you, you felt that for so long that your mind has that feeling imprinted in you. You could probably close your eyes right now, remember it, and truly believe that you are feeling it. It's the same with his voice, you heard only his voice for months so it's been imprinted into your mind. As for the light, when I walked in here you were facing the wide open window and the sun was pointed right at your face. It was burning the back of your eyelids. So I'm guessing that's what brought that on. Look, it doesn't matter, all that matters is that you are here with me now." He squeezed me again dropping a kiss on my forehead. I stayed silent for a moment. What he said made sense. I sighed, "Maybe I should take Quatre up on his suggestion….I don't want to be forced back there every time I go to sleep". He nodded. "I think that would be a wonderful idea"

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Another chapter down! I'm not updating again until I get 5 reviews! So start reviewing people!

Heero: Review or omae o korosu!

Duo: Don't make me go shinigami on your asses!

Tsu-chan: I warn you all, things are about to get even crazier! What will happen next?

Preview of Chapter 6:

A violent shiver tore through me as my thoughts turned dark and focused around what could have been happening to me during the times I was out. Was I even out? Or was I just too drugged to remember what happened? Did he play with my memory too? I was suddenly very angry and if I could go and kill the bastard again I would. I was currently laying in my bed with Duo curled up asleep next to me and since at that moment I couldn't hold in my anger I turned to the wall and roughly slammed my fist into it, crushing through the dry wall and plaster creating a nice sized whole.

I lay there in the darkened room for quite some time, just listening to Duo's steady breathing, his hot breath ghosting across my shoulder. The sound was oddly soothing and I found myself concentrating on that alone. I am unsure as to the amount of time that I lay awake, maybe an hour, maybe a minute, who knows, but gradually I noticed a new smell in the air. It came on suddenly, like a change in the air, and yet so slowly that I was unable to notice it until it permeated the air around me. It was a smell I was very familiar with, the smell of sterility, death, and alcohol.

Want more? You know what to do.

Love you all!

Tsu-chan


	6. Chapter 6

Hey everyone! First off I want to apologize for the long delay in this one. I started back to school and with being in the military and going to school I don't have that much free time anymore. But after Jan. 1 all of that will end and I'll have a lot more time. So with that being said here is chapter 6, it is a little shorter than the others but the stopping place was just too good. I had to end it there.

Secondly I want to thank all of my reviewers! There aren't many of you but the few of you that there are are most appriciated!

Cielshadow17- Thank you for the review! You let me know that there are still people that are interested in my story out there! I'll try to update quicker for here on out. ^_^

Toola- As always Thank you very much for your review. :) keep it up so that I know what I'm doing here ok?

ok thats enough prattle from me! Enjoy everyone!

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Chapter 6

As promised the next day I gave Quatre's therapist a call, she readily agreed to see me right away and even went as far as to board the next flight from L4 to earth. I wasn't really too surprised, I assumed Quatre had already talked to her about me, she probably already knows everything that has happened by now. I wasn't mad at Quatre for this, which actually surprised me. Instead I was actually grateful, the less I had to tell her, the better. Besides, there are lots of points that I don't remember. He had me down there for months apparently yet to me I only remember it as days, a couple weeks at most. I must have been unconscious more than I realized. A violent shiver tore through me as my thoughts turned dark and focused around what could have been happening to me during the times I was out. Was I even out? Or was I just too drugged to remember what happened? Did he play with my memory too? I was suddenly very angry and if I could go and kill the bastard again I would. I was currently laying in my bed with Duo curled up asleep next to me and since at that moment I couldn't hold in my anger I turned to the wall and roughly slammed my fist into it, crushing through the dry wall and plaster creating a nice sized whole. Of course this woke Duo up. With a jump he looked over at me sleepily, "….ro? What happened? You ok?" he mumbled looking from me to the wall, a frown marring his face. I sighed running a hand through my unruly brown hair. "I'm sorry Duo, I just got so mad at that bastard all of a sudden I just…." I looked over to the whole in the wall hoping that would be enough of an explanation. Duo just nodded and took my now reddened hand to place kisses along my bruising knuckles. I knew he understood, probably more than anyone else, and that alone meant the world to me. I really don't think I would have been able to survive without him. No, I _know_ I would not have survived without him.

"I hate this for you, Heero." I jumped as I was jarred out of my thoughts by Duo's soft voice. My brows creased in concern as I looked at him. I laid my other hand over the top of his and squeezed gently in what I hoped was a type of reassurance. I took that chance to study him, taking in every detail that made up the love of my life. I loved his hair, it was full of so many colors; some reds, various shades of brown, and even some blond. As usual his long hair was pulled back in a braid starting at the base of his neck and trailing down his back reaching all the way to his hips. At the moment the braid was loose from sleep allowing several strands free to wisp softly around his heart shaped face. He had long bangs obscuring all of his forehead and draping into his large expressive blue-violet eyes. Those eyes, I think it was those eyes I fell in love with first. He can't hide anything with those eyes and I love the way they change color. When he's mad they go really dark turning into a deep violet, when we're making out they turn into shining amethysts, and when he's really happy they go pale blue with just a touch of violet. Everything I ever need to know about him is in his eyes. His nose, was small well defined and fit perfectly with him. Now I was at his lips, full dark pink lips that were made for smiling but were currently frowning. I didn't like that one bit so I quickly leaned forward placing my own lips over his in a soft, quick kiss, nipping playfully at his bottom lip before pulling away. Once I pulled back I saw those lips slowly turn up in a soft smile, 'there, that's much better' I thought. My eyes once again met his and I was staring into very violet orbs that held too much emotion to fathom. I decided that it was time to really define our relationship. I knew we loved each other so there was no point in denying what we already were.

"Duo?" I started reaching my arms out to him and pulling him closer. He snuggled into my chest before letting out a soft "hn?" in response.  
>"Duo… You know I love you right?"<br>He chuckled softly, "Yes Heero, I think I've figured that out. I love you too".  
>I smiled and hugged him a little tighter, "Say you'll be mine forever? That you'll never leave me. I can't live without you, you're my life, my soul, and without you, I am nothing." I felt his smile against my chest. "Heero, you already had me. You had me the day I shot you I think. I've always been yours and will always be."<br>"Marry me?" I blurted out before even thinking about what I was saying, but oddly enough, I felt a strange sort of peace fall over me once the words were out. I knew that was exactly what I meant to say and maybe the timing wasn't the best, but it worked for us in a strange sort of way. His arms tightened around me and he buried his face into my chest and mumbled something that sounded strangely like 'baka'. I didn't say anything I just sat quietly and waited for an answer, I knew he would give me one.  
>"Heero no baka!" he said pulling back just enough to look into my face. The first thing I noticed was the tears welling up into his eyes then the large smile pasted onto his face. "Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!" he laughed, and he cried, and best of all, he kissed me; several times. A small smile somehow made its way to my face and for that one moment, all was right with the world.<p>

The rest of the day passed in a sort of blur. I still had very little strength and wore out quickly. I don't know how I managed to make it out of the hospital to be honest. I was so weak I could hardly walk and while I still somehow retained enough muscle and power to punch through a wall, even that one outburst left me drained. I couldn't do anything. I was really happy that Duo had agreed to marry me, but after talking with him on it, we decided to wait until next year for the actual ceremony. Hopefully I would be back to normal by then. Although… normal at this point was debatable since normal for me was the stoney focused soldier, I didn't know what to be or how to act beyond that. Duo kept reassuring me that I was doing just fine and not to worry so much, but I still did. Before I even realized it, it was night again and Duo was going through the process of getting ready for bed. I slowly made my way into my room and looked around. When I got back from the hospital I automatically went back into my old room. For some reason, we had separate rooms. I never questioned it before. Even though we loved each other we hadn't gone that far and had never discussed sharing a room. I frowned in thought, Duo had been sleeping in my room with me for the past couple of nights anyway, so why not just switch to his room? I quietly made my way to his room and slowly opened the door. He was still in the bathroom attached to his room so I padded softly over to the bed and quickly slipped between the sheets. I laid down pulling the blankets up and rolled onto my side so that my back would be facing the bathroom when he walked out. I had already gone through the process of locking the house up and turning off all the lights so Duo should just come out and go straight to bed, in theory.

I heard the bathroom door open and the soft click as the light was turned off. There was a pause as I'm guessing Duo noticed me before I heard the gentle sound of his footsteps against the carpet. I kept my eyes closed pretending to be asleep as I felt him slide into the bed and turn out the lights. Once the lights were off he pulled the covers up and scooted closer to me. I felt an arm wrap around me before I was pulled into a solid chest. "Baka, if you wanted to sleep here before I never would have denied you." He said softly, his breath ghosting across my ear as he spoke. "Hn" was all I responded before wrapping my own arm around him. I tightened my hold on him and forced my weary eyes opened. I was extremely tired and yet no matter how my eye lids drooped I could not bring myself to go to sleep. I was terrified that as soon as I did I would be transported back into that room. In all honesty, I was having a hard time believing that I wasn't still in there and that this was all just in my head. Duo's explanations for what happened before all made perfect sense, but it still didn't seem real.

I lay there in the darkened room for quite some time, just listening to Duo's steady breathing, his hot breath ghosting across my shoulder. The sound was oddly soothing and I found myself concentrating on that alone. I am unsure as to the amount of time that I lay awake, maybe an hour, maybe a minute, who knows, but gradually I noticed a new smell in the air. It came on suddenly, like a change in the air, and yet so slowly that I was unable to notice it until it permeated the air around me. It was a smell I was very familiar with, the smell of sterility, death, and alcohol. I tried to look at Duo's face and realized with a start that it was too dark in the room. When had it become so dark? I tightened my hold on him desperate to grasp back onto reality. He still felt warm and solid in my arms and yet, I no longer felt any breath on my shoulder. I started to shake violently. Maybe I should move, just release Duo to roll over and turn on the light. Everything would be ok once the light was on. That was my hope at least. I could still feel the soft bed under me so I was still home. It was all ok, it would all be ok. It will be ok, it will be ok, it WILL be ok! I repeated it over and over in my head, like a mantra that would eventually make it all true. I couldn't understand what was happening, I was still awake! Why was I feeling this! I was starting to shake, cursing myself for my own fear and yet helpless to stop it. Somewhere in the distance I heard a soft sound. I couldn't make out what it was at first but slowly the sound got closer, louder, rising in pitch until it reached a deafening crescendo. It sounded like someone screaming! The scream continued on forever and yet lasted only a heartbeat. It was the most heart-rending blood curdling sound I have ever heard. Without even realized that I had moved I placed my hands on my head rolling around in agony, the sound of the scream still resonating through my skull. I could vaguely hear something else, a voice….what was it saying? "….o…." what? I listened harder, "….e…o". It was definitely a voice but I couldn't make out what it was saying. I squeezed my eyes shut, not trying to sleep but trying to block everything out. It wasn't working though and I no longer could hear the voice, instead the scream was building back up. This one seemed worse than the first, even louder and once it hit its peak my eyes snapped open and stared right into the silver grey eyes of the cruel doctor, and he was laughing. I closed my eyes again and felt more than saw, a light turn on. That scream was still going! I wanted it to stop, the pain and misery in it was so evident anyone could feel it. I felt a sharp pinch to my arm and once again snapped my eyes back open and this time I was greeted with Duo's worried violet orbs. Suddenly the scream stop and it was then that I looked around. Duo was leaning over me but not touching me, both hands on his head covering his ears. I blinked rapidly trying to figure out just what happened and Duo slowly lowered his hands. "….ro?" I tried to speak and suddenly found my throat to be very raw, that was odd, it felt as though I had been screaming, but I would know if I had… right? I cleared my throat before trying to talk again, "Duo…I saw him again….I didn't even fall asleep! I didn't sleep and yet he was there! Right in front of me, laughing! What do I do? I didn't sleep! I didn't…. I—" I was cut off from my hysterical speech by a strong pair of arms pulling me into a solid chest. I sat still for a minute just taking in Duo's warmth. "Was that me that screamed?" Duo silently nodded in reply.  
>"Both times?"<br>Another small nod  
>"I heard a voice calling, but I never was able to hear what they were saying…. I'm sorry for waking you up. I don't know what happened, I didn't even know it was me screaming…."<br>Duo frowned, "Heero please don't apologize. I'm here for you, I want to help you in any way possible. Would you like to try taking some sleeping pills? You didn't dream when you were drugged up at the hospital so maybe you won't dream if you take some, it's worth a try right?"I thought about it for a minute before nodding silently. I really didn't like the thought of taking more drugs, but I had to try something. I watched as Duo slipped from the bed and made his way across the room and out the door.

He came back surprisingly quickly and handed me a glass of water and two small red pills. I stared at them in disgust for a second before tossing them in my mouth and rinsing them down with the water. I wiped the back of my hand over my mouth as I swallowed and placed the now empty glass on the night stand. Duo smiled softly and gently pulled me back down on the bed. He leaned over me and flipped off the light before pulling me close once more and settled down to sleep. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and closed my eyes willing the pills to work quickly, luckily they did. Within minutes I was in a dreamless blank state unaware of everything until the light peeking through the windows softly woke me the next morning.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry to all of my readers that this chapter took sooo long. I got super busy with school finals and then I took leave for 2 weeks for the Christmas season, but I'm back now and hopefully I can finish this story soon. Thanks to everyone that has been keeping up with this! I promise to make this chapter worth the wait. ;) Enjoy everyone! Oh! And Review!

Warnings: LEMON! Do not read if you are offended by descriptive malexmale lemons! Rated M for a reason people! Also, mention of more drug use, abuse and angst. You have been warned!

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I groaned in misery grabbing my aching head, the soft light peeking through the blinds hitting my eyes casting its gentle wretchedness on me jarring me awake in the early morning hours. I felt like I had the hangover from hell, as if whatever Duo had given me last night had been laced with tremendously potent alcohol in which only the devil himself would readily consume. Duo turned over upon hearing my abundant noise and creased his brows in concern. "Heero, are you ok?" he questioned. As if I had ever been ok. I wanted to tell him I was not ok, that I wasn't ok at all, but my voice wouldn't work. When I opened my mouth the only thing that managed to come out was either a groan or an indistinguishable squeak. "Head hurt?" he specified. Relieved I could only nod, happy now that he understood. With an audible sigh he threw back the covers as if angry at something before stomping quickly out of the room to return just as quickly with two small pills and a glass of water. He passed said items to me before returning to the warmth of the bed and pulling the covers back up. It must have been earlier than I thought if he was going back to bed. I mumbled out a quick thanks before downing the pills and water and quickly laying back down. I rolled over into Duo and pulled him to me, relishing in the body to body contact that he offered. I felt him sigh and snuggle closer against me, his warmth seeping further into me warming me straight to my soul. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and slowly drifted off into a dreamless sleep with him warming my front, and the sun warming my back.

I slept for a good couple of hours and awoke much more gently this time around to the soft smell of fresh brewed French vanilla coffee. I smiled as I stretched realizing that Duo remembered my favorite and was hopefully making it for me. Sometimes I loved him so much more for the small things he did than anything else. With a big smile on my face I swiftly hopped out of bed and made my way towards our kitchen. I stopped abruptly in the hallway as two voices drifted my way. I immediately recognized Duo's rough deep one, but the higher pitched feminine one was new and immediately put me on alert. As if on auto-pilot I reached for a gun at my side that wasn't there and silently cursed when my hand hit empty space. I continued to curse to myself as I back peddled to our bedroom and hastily threw on some real clothing, I didn't wish to meet the enemy under dressed. Without even a thought as to what I was doing I had grabbed the gun that stashed under my pillow, it was my favorite glock, smooth and sleek glossy metal shined from hours of me having nothing better to do than to polish it. I stared at it for a moment before slowly making my way back towards the kitchen.

Once I was just around the corner from the kitchen I heard the hushed voices once more. They were obviously trying to be quiet, speaking in such a way that only they could hear each other. Duo was cohorting with the enemy now? I could feel my eyes narrow in anger and suspicion and the thoughts spin dangerously around my head. Suddenly all the anger at everything that had happened was coming to the forefront of my mind. I really wanted to kill this person who dared to invade my house, my home. It didn't matter that Duo had let them in, had trusted them. At that moment all that mattered was everything that had happened to me at the hands of strangers. Strangers couldn't be trusted, strangers were the enemy, strangers needed to be eliminated.

It was with that one single focused thought that I rounded the corner, gun drawn, and pointed it right at the young stranger currently sitting at our kitchen table with a fresh cup of MY coffee in front of her. "Who are you and what are you doing in MY home? You were not given clearance to be in here." I hardened my glare as I pointed the gun at her. She was a young women, very professional looking. She had dark brown hair pulled back tightly into a neat pony high pony tail, the end of which met with her shoulder blades. Her eyes were deep chocolate showing no fear of me or the gun, only understanding and wisdom, she had a small pert nose and thin lips pulled over a large full smile. She held up her hands in a defensive gesture before speaking, "Mr. Yuy I presume? I'm Mrs. Hartman, we talked on the phone. Mr. Winner introduced us. I believe we have a lot to talk about. I came as promised on the first flight from L4, I do apologize for startling you. Mr. Maxwell here was kind enough to let me in and we agreed that your rest was more important than waking you up. Now that should answer all of your questions could you please put the gun down before you give me a heart attack?"

I blinked in surprise my first thought being that Duo had just met his match in talking ability before I slowly lowered the gun. I may have lowered the gun but I still didn't trust her, she was still a doctor and a stranger regardless of what Quatre and now Duo thought. I slowly made my way into the kitchen and wearily sat down in the chair opposite her, my eyes never leaving her. I was watching her every movement. Both of her hands were currently wrapped around her coffee mug and I watched as she took a sip, appearing calm. Not even a shake of her hands even though she had just had a gun pointed at her. Granted she had just taken care of Quatre so she must have been subject to some pretty crazy things, so maybe this was considered tame for her. After studying her for many minutes I finally turned to Duo who had remained strangely silent throughout this whole exchange. I raised an eyebrow in question and he merely shrugged his shoulders, which for some reason sparked some rage in me. I was expecting some kind of explanation out of him at the time I guess, but really, what was he going to say that she hadn't already? I was just so angry at everything all of a sudden and had no outlet for my anger, the original cause of it all was already dead and gone so I had nothing to kill anymore. So, I did the only thing I could. I stood up quickly, knocking my chair over in the process, and stormed outside. Once outside I walked into the woods and proceeded to empty my gun magazine into the nearest largest tree that could handle it.

Once the gun was free of ammo I stood there for several minutes breathing heavily, adrenaline still coursing through my veins. These bouts of anger were really getting bad, I needed to stop this before I hurt someone, someone being Duo. I shook my head; no I could never hurt Duo. Someone else maybe, but Duo; no. He would never allow it, he's damn strong himself. After another minute of staring into space I slowly walked up to the tree I had shot to see the damage, even though I had fired off 11 rounds there was only one small hole marring the beautiful oak. I felt bad immediately for damaging such an old tree and vowed to never do it again. I brought my hand up to feel the damage and was surprised at the strength I could feel from the tree. It was a very old tree indeed. I looked up trying to see just how tall it was, but even straining I couldn't see the very top. It was a very impressive tree, and I had just shot it. I suddenly felt disgusted with myself for letting my anger control me I turned away in disgust and came face to face with both Duo and Mrs. Hartman, both of which were wearing expressions of concern and shock on their faces. Without a word to either of them I shoved the now empty gun at Duo and stalked back into the house. I was just about to go inside when I heard Duo say to her, "Well, this is what you signed up for are you sure your up for the challenge?" I had my back turned so I couldn't see if she made any type of non-verbal response but she did say, "Well, I must say I wasn't expecting the shooting of trees, but I am definitely up for the challenge! He is nowhere near as bad off as everyone including himself believes, he's just a little lost at the moment. All we need to do is help him find himself." I heard Duo make some comment in reply but it was too low for me to really hear then I hear her voice again, "Mr. Maxwell, I aim to do just that. Trust me when I say that we will get him better by your wedding day. I give you my word" I couldn't help the smile that came with that. So, Duo had told her about us. That would make things a lot easier. I wouldn't have to hide anything now, I was happy about that. I still didn't trust her, but that would make it easier. My thoughts were a lot lighter now and I felt tons better after shooting out my frustrations. So, with that in mind I quickly stepped back inside the house and went straight to the kitchen to make myself some of my favorite coffee then sat down to wait on the talkative two to come back inside.

I didn't have to wait long at all. I was just sitting down when they sauntered back in talking animatedly about some tv show they both apparently liked. 'Great' I thought 'Two bakas in the house'. I rolled my eyes at them and quietly sipped at my coffee eyeing them carefully the whole time. Duo acted as host and quickly refilled coffee cups as Mrs. Hartman took her previous seat across from me, brown eyes glued to mine the whole time. Once Duo was finally seated, I looked over at him my eyes softening instantly upon meeting his warm violets. I reached over and grabbed one of his hands in mine, bringing his fingers to my lips kissing them softly, my eyes never leaving his. I was laying my claim on him. 'You are mine' I was clearly saying, the challenge burning brightly in my eyes a smirk playing lightly on my lips before I let our hands fall gently back to the table still entwined. Duo's eyes instantly recognized the challenge and accepted it. He squeezed my hand once and my eyes darted to his mouth where a bright smile emerged. A light cough brought us back to reality and reminded us that we had an audience. I scowled darkly but refused to release Duo's hand, instead I just squeezed a bit harder, daring the intruder to say anything against it. When all she did was smile, it, for whatever reason, pissed me off. I snarled and wanted to pull Duo away from her. If I was a cat I think I would have hissed at her right then and there. As it was all I could do was give her one of my best glares, which would have sent most grown men running, all she did was smile more. I wanted to bitch slap her.

"Mr. Yuy, you have nothing to fear from me. I am not going to take Mr. Maxwell from you. I assure you. As fascinating as he is, I am in no way attracted to him." She said still smiling. I found this hard to believe. I mean, had she even looked at Duo? He was the most gorgeous Adonis to ever live! Long silken chestnut hair, violet jeweled eyes, amazing body, whats not to love! I most have looked at her like she had grown to heads but I knew I was still glaring. I think I was offended. I didn't want her to be attracted to MY Duo but she should still find him attractive right? I was making no sense now I knew it. She saw my face then and laughed, "Mr. Yuy! Please do not be alarmed, Mr. Maxwell is extremely attractive, in that there is no doubt!" Duo finally spoke up at this with a big smile and a nod, "Well thank you!" "No problem" she replied "But, Mr. Yuy, you see, I'm a lesbian. So I'm not attracted to Mr. Maxwell at all. It has nothing to do with how attractive he his. Although with that hair, I might be persuaded…." She trailed off then with a coy look in Duo's direction causing Duo to laugh heartily and me to grab onto Duo even harder. 'A lesbian!' I thought. The thought had never even occurred to me. Leave it to Quatre to find such a therapist. It was just too perfect. I sighed and leaned back heavily in my chair. "heh…." I said "A lesbian huh?" I let out a small laugh then startling the both of them causing them to regard me with wide eyes. I think they were expecting me to completely crack at that point. "Leave it to Quatre to come up with something like this." Was all I said to them for once fully expressing my thoughts. Duo blinked a few times in surprise before laughing fully, "You're certainly right there! Only Quatre could find a Lesbian therapist for himself and another gay couple. Gotta love him for it. Works out perfect, ne?" I gave Duo a little smile and turned back to the therapist who still had that large smile on her face. "Alright fine, but if this is going to go anywhere we have got to drop the formalities. Stop the Mr. Yuy shit and the Mr. Maxwell shit. And I don't want to call you Mrs. Hartman. Understood?" Her smiled dropped just slightly at this. "Just call me Heero, and him Duo that will work better, and what should we call you?" her smile almost completely faded at this. "While I completely understand and am fine with that, in fact I usually insist on calling my patients by their first names, I would really rather wait to tell you my first name as it is somewhat embarrassing." She blushed slightly. I frowned this was unusual. What could possibly be embarrassing about a name? When my glare didn't lessen and I made no move to back down she finally gave in and with a sigh mumbled out her name, "Maxine…" Duo's eyes lit up and went wide. With a big smile he almost jumped up, "Maxine? Your name is Maxine!" he asked getting super excited. She nodded not meeting our eyes and Duo immediately got excited again, "Alright! Maxwell and Maxine! Two Max's to the rescue!" he stood up then putting one foot on his chair and one fist in the air in a semi super hero sort of pose "We'll protect the weak and defend the strong! We'll be the Max twins! It'll be awesome! She'll be the brains and I'll be the brawns!" he was really on a roll now and I could clearly see why she didn't want to tell us her first name. She obviously foresaw this happening. With a groan I tugged on Duo's sleeve pulling him down, "Baka! Sit back down!" I growled out. Duo laughed and slowly sat back in his seat before looking back over at Maxine, "So, can I call you Max? or Maxi? Or do you only prefer Maxine?" Duo was practically bouncing in his chair now, obviously he'd had way too much coffee with way too much sugar this morning. I'd have to think of something to work off some of that energy. Maxine shook her head, "Duo, you can call me whatever makes you happy." She finally said. I supposed that answer was just supposed to shut him up, she obviously didn't know Duo very well. Before Duo could say anything else I clamped a hand over his mouth, effectively cutting off any more. "Thank you Maxine. Now that we are clear on what to call each other, why don't I—Duo!" I was cut off from saying any more as I felt a wet slimy digit swipe repeatedly across the palm of my hand; I pulled my hand away only when it started to drip from drool. I looked at my hand in disgust and then looked back at Duo. "I can't believe you just did that…." He crossed his arms and turned his nose up at me, "that's what you get for putting your hand over my mouth to shut me up!" I laughed at him for this then wiped my hand on his jeans. "Here you can have that all back." I said. He laughed back, "Thanks I thought I was missing something" "Yeah, a few screws in the head" I joked back He smiled happily and grabbed me into a rough hug. "Heero, if your able to joke with me like this, you really are doing a lot better than you realize."

When I looked back at Maxine she was practically beaming at us, "Duo is right Heero. When I first started with Quatre he couldn't even crack a smile for the first six weeks. You may still have a long road to go for full recovery, but you're going to be all right. Duo really has been the best medicine for you." I let out a relieved sigh at hearing this, I always knew that Duo was my medicine but hearing it was relieving non-the-less. I stood up then, took my coffee cup to the sink, and turned back to Maxine. "Well, let me show you to your room and get you settled in. You will be staying here with us. Most hotels are too far away I'm afraid, and the majority of my incidents happen late at night. I hope you were informed of this decision and that it won't change yours." Her eyes met mine and for a minute I could sense conflicts going through them, but soon it was clear that she was determined. "No, I've made my decision and I will not give up on you Heero. I give you my word." I nodded and proceeded to show her to my old room. I was no longer using it so it seemed like the perfect place. I even explained to her that it used to be mine. She seemed pleased, as if it might give her some insight into me. I left her then to unpack and get settled while I went to seek out my lover.

I found him in the kitchen washing down the table and cleaning up what little mess we had made. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around him, placing small chaste kisses to his shoulder and neck. He stopped what he was doing to lean back into me. I pushed his braid to the side to expose more of his neck and greedily swooped down to gently suck on the skin there leaving behind a nice sized mark. I smirked in triumph happy at the thought of marking what was mine. Lesbian or not, I still felt that I needed to prove to her that Duo was mine. I needed to stake my claim before the stranger could get close to him. My thoughts were spinning rapidly out of control. Duo and I had yet to do anything beyond heavy make-out sessions, and yet suddenly I found myself wanting to claim him so completely that nothing could come between us ever again. Having a stranger in the house only increased this need. When Duo made to pull away I made another move and continued to suck, nip, and kiss the skin on his neck while my hands started to roam down his chest. I tweaked a nipple to alertness feeling very smug at the sound of his moan. "Duo…." I whispered in his ear. It was a constant amusement to me the things that stimulated him, the way I said his name was one of those things. He moaned again and with lightning fast speed spun around grabbing me by the hand and was dragging back to our bedroom before I even knew it.

Once back in our room he quickly closed and locked the door. While his back was still turned I quickly pressed up against him, effectively pinning him between the door and me. This time I ran both my hands down his sides stopping on his hips to drag them into mine. "Duo…." I growled out biting down on the hollow of his shoulder eliciting a moan in response. I loved the feel of him beneath me, but this wasn't enough, I wanted so much more. Roughly I pulled away, yanking Duo with me and made my way over to the bed. Once we reached the edge I grabbed Duo around the waist and planted a heavy bruising kiss on his lips. I pulled away only long enough to quickly pull off his t-shirt before attaching my lips to his once again all the while my hands were busy pushing his simple sweat pants down along with his boxers, leaving them to pool around his ankles. I felt him quickly step out of them right before he fell backwards onto the bed, pulling me with him. Having him beneath me, fully naked, sent a desire shooting through me so strong I almost came just from the sight alone. I paused to push myself up on my arms and stare down at him. His face was flushed, lips swollen from the bruising kisses, and his eyes were half closed and lust filled. I reached down and grabbed the end of his braid, slowly pulling off the hair band and running my fingers through it to unravel it. He looked like an angel with hair spread all around him in a half halo shape. I continued to stare at him for a moment before sitting up and pulling my own t-shirt over my head. I felt his hands on me then, pushing my pants down, brushing against my now straining erection in the process. I threw my head back and moaned, Duo's hands felt so good! Once all my clothing was off I lay back on top of Duo, our erections brushing against each other causing us both to gasp. "Duo…" I moaned out as his hand came up to grab my erection and slowly started pumping. I reached down and stilled his hands before he could go any further. Then with a smirk I attacked his neck with my lips again. I slowly made my way down his neck to his chest and stopped at one nipple to gently nip and suck on it, all the while reveling in the mews, gasps, and moans that Duo was making. The sounds were intoxicating, making me more and more needy. I don't know how I had survived this long without doing this to him. I moved to the other nipple then, giving it the same attention before kissing my way down to his smooth flat stomach. Then I moved ever lower, til I came to his very large, very erect penis. He whimpered then, wordlessly begging me to continue. I wanted to taste him then, and so I did just that. With little to no warning I grabbed his dick and deep throated it all in one go. He gasped and arched off the bed, I used my other hand to hold his hips still and slowly drew him out of my mouth. Once he was out I took my tongue and licked around the head before slowly licking up and down the full length. He was seeping a little pre-cum and I could feel him getting closer to completion with each lick. I thrust him into my mouth once more, bobbing my head up and down. "nnn…. Heero, so close…." He got out in between gasps and moans. I pulled away then, I wasn't ready for him to be done. I still had other plans in mind. I gave him one final lick before moving back up to his mouth and kissing him roughly. I teased his tongue with my own for a minute before pulling away completely. "Do we have any lube?" I asked him quietly. He nodded and pointed to the bedside table. I moved away just long enough to open the drawer and fish out the tube of lube that he had stashed in there. I raised my eyebrow at him in question when I noticed it was strawberry flavored, and very much edible. He just gave me a cocky smile in response and reached for me, I gladly climbed back onto the bed and into his arms. I opened the lube and squirted some onto my first two fingers and slowly moved my hand back down. I kissed Duo then, trying to distract him from anything that might cause him pain. When I felt that he was truly distracted enough I found his entrance and slowly, as gently as possible, pushed one finger into him. He gasped into my mouth but made no move to stop me so I slowly pushed a second finger in to start stretching him. He was so tight I was starting to get concerned that I would only hurt him. Slowly after a minute or two of pumping my fingers in and out of him he finally started to loosen up. I started to make a scissoring motion with my two fingers to stretch him even more. Once I felt that he was loose enough I pulled my hand away and once again opened the lube. I coated myself with a liberal amount before looking back into his eyes. "Duo? This is it. You need to tell me now if you want me to stop." He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving mine. "Please Heero…. I need you and I've wanted this for so long. It'd kill me if you stopped now!" he replied. I smiled and kissed him tenderly before positioning myself at his entrance. With one more look into his eyes I slowly pushed into him. His hands gripped my arms and he let out a hiss of pain causing me to stop immediately. I couldn't stand the thought of hurting him. I suddenly wasn't sure if I should continue at all, if it was painful for him and I just kept going, didn't that make me just as bad as the doctor? Something must have shown on my face because Duo spoke up then, "Please don't stop. It's supposed to be a little painful the first time. Just continue to go slow and I'll be fine." I still felt doubtful but continued to slowly push my way in. After what felt like an eternity of sweet hellish pleasure, I was finally all the way in. The need to move was agonizing but I refused to do anything to hurt Duo so I gave him a moment to adjust and didn't start moving until he nodded an ok. I slowly pulled back out before pushing back a little quicker this time and each time I got a little faster. I was just getting into a rhythm when I thrusted in at a slightly different angle causing Duo to arch off of the bed. "Ohmygod! Do that again!" he gasped. I did and he practically screamed in pleasure. I was getting close now, pumping in and out of Duo hitting that pleasure spot every time. It wasn't too long after that I felt my orgasm rising. With a loud cry Duo came first exploding all over his and my own chest. I followed quickly after him, his muscles clenching around me as he came sending me over the edge. Once I was spent I collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily.

Once I could gain my senses back I eased off of him and slowly pulled out of him. We'd made quite the mess so with heavy limbs I climbed out of bed and headed into the bathroom. I grabbed a washrag and carried it back to the bed to clean Duo and myself off. Once we were both cleaned I pulled Duo into my arms and kissed him soflty. He sighed happily and cuddled up to me. I held him tightly and sat for a moment in silence before asking him if he was ok. He replied with a bright smile on his face, "Heero-love, I am MORE than ok. That was amazing, you are amazing!" I laughed happily at his response and kissed him until he was gasping for breath.

We quieted down considerably after that and just when I thought he had fallen asleep he spoke up once more. "Not that I'm complaining or anything, cuz I'm not, but what brought this on?" I chuckled and started running my fingers through his hair. "I am not sure if I can explain it. Up until this moment I've been terrified of doing anything to you. I couldn't bare the thought of hurting you. Just the idea of it made me feel I was no better than that damn doctor. " I paused to reign in my emotions by taking a few deep breaths before continuing. "I guess, we got into this sort of routine and this new doctor that's here now sparked something. I know she says shes a lesbian, but I still felt this strong desire to…." I trailed off suddenly worried. I was about to tell Duo that I was staking my claim on him…. I felt really ashamed of myself just then. He was not some object I could claim, he was free to do whatever he wanted. "Desire to do what exactly Heero?" he inquired looking worried. I sighed; I might as well tell him the whole truth. "I felt the desire to stake my claim on you…. I wanted this stranger to know that you were mine and that she was to keep her hands off." I almost stopped talking when I saw his eyebrows raise in question. "I know that you are free to do what you want, but that's really how I felt…." I took the chance to look at him now, really look. I was surprised to see that he had not one but several love bites littering his once flawless body. He had three on his neck alone, several on his chest and even a couple on his thighs. "I'm sorry Duo… I think I got a little carried away…." At my shocked expression and words he practically flew out of bed and walked over to our closet, which had a full length mirror on the door. His jaw dropped in shock, "Heero Yuy! I cannot believe you! Do you have any idea how hard it is going to be to cover all of these!" I cringed, he really did sound upset. "At least everyone that sees them will know that you are indeed taken." I joked softly. With a deep sigh of resignation I watched as his shoulders dropped and he slowly made his way back to the bed. I reached for him as soon as he was back and made to pull him to me. Suddenly his eyes lit up with an evil mischievous light and he pounced on me. My eyes widened in shock as I looked up into his now laughing features. "Alright Yuy, this is payback for all of those. If I have to deal with them then so do you!" I gasped and before I could react to his announcement his lips were firmly attached to my neck, sucking hard before moving to another spot. I moaned, "Duo…. If you keep that up we're going to have to go another round…." He started to reply but there was a knock on our door pulling us back to the present. "I'm sorry to bother you both, but I just wanted to inform you that I am going to run into town and was wondering if you needed anything?" the soft feminine voice of Maxine floated through the door. I flushed slightly, I had forgotten all about her for a minute. Duo responded for us both, "No thanks Maxi! We're covered. We'll see you tonight. Will you be back for dinner?" There was a pause then, "Ok if your sure, I will be back around 6 if that is around dinner then fine, if not than please eat without me." "Nah, 6 is good. See you then!" "Thanks Duo, bye!" I listened carefully until I heard the alarm beep announcing the opening and closing of the front door. I let out a huff of breath and relaxed back onto the pillows. Duo looked back down at me, that crazy smirk of his returning. "Now where was I?" he asked before leaning over me again. This did cause a repeat of our earlier performance, which caused even more love bits to adorn his body. I think we must have done it another two times before we both drifted off into a peaceful sleep, curled around each other.

We woke up to the smell of something wonderful wafting through the air causing both our mouths to water. Other than the smell the first thing that I noticed was that it was very dark in the room and outside. Duo slowly stirred beside me and turned over to look at the clock. It took him a minute to process what was going on but once he did, he jumped out of bed and grabbed the clock. "Holy shit! I told Maxi I would have the dinner made by 6 and its 6:30!" He quickly threw on his sweat pants and t-shirt from earlier before making his way out of the room into the kitchen. I jumped out of bed shortly after him and did the same. We both got to the kitchen just in time to see Maxi put something into the oven. She looked up at us both and smiled. Duo immediately went into apology mode which she just waved off. "No worries. I like to cook and you two seemed like you needed the sleep." As she looked at us I noticed her eyes slowly travel down from our faces and to our necks. Her eyes widened in surprise before looking back at Duo's face. "Are those what I think they are?" she asked quietly. Duo's face flushed before a large smile adorned his face. "Yup! Doc, your even better than I thought! He finally took the plunge today!" Duo said causing me to turn bright red in embarrassment. She laughed merrily and walked over to Duo to hold his hand. "Oh Duo! That's wonderful! Are you ok now? You guys were so quiet I thought you were just in there sleeping the whole time!" Duo shook his head, "Yup! I'm great! Couldn't be better! As for us being quiet, we weren't, but our room is soundproof so you couldn't hear anything even if you wanted to." She chuckled lightly at that and enveloped Duo in a hug, drawing a large growl out of me as she did so. I wanted to tell her hands off. She jumped back from him as soon as she heard me growl and smiled. "Don't worry Heero, I can tell just by looking at him now that Duo is very much spoken for." She let out a snicker behind her hand and turned back to whatever she was cooking. I only growled in response and pulled Duo into my arms, holding him tightly while glaring in Maxi's direction. I knew I was acting childish, but something in me just couldn't allow strangers around Duo. Not in our own home anyway. I know that he has to go out and be social, and while I don't like the strangers then, I allow it. But inside my home is a whole 'nother story!

Duo handled it all very well, in fact he just chuckled lightly and cuddled into me, seemingly enjoying the full contact. Once Maxi was fully distracted I took Duo's hand and led him into the living room. I sat down on the couch and pulled him with me, into my lap and proceeded to wrap my arms around him. He sighed into me and leaned back, his head resting on my shoulder. I smiled tenderly and hugged him tightly. I brought my lips down to his ear and whispered softly, "I love you". He smiled brightly at this and gave my arms a brief squeeze before whispering back, "I love you too". I felt more content in that moment then I had ever in my life. I had the love of my life in my arms, who loved me as well. I was feeling pretty good and not crazy at the moment, and for the time being all was right with the world. It was with that final thought that I closed my eyes and tried to rest for a minute.

I only meant to close my eyes for a second, I didn't mean to or want to fall asleep but I must have because the next thing I knew, I was suffocating. There was a heavy weight pressed atop me and it was completely dark. I tried to open my eyes but it felt as if something was holding them closed. I heard a deep chuckle come from somewhere and quickly stilled. "Well well, I do believe you are awake now my little Heero." I could feel hot breath next to my ear as the words were spoke. I instantly froze, I didn't even breath. The chuckling resumed then and the weight pressed into me even more. I could feel myself start to shake involuntarily. "Now now, my little Heero. No need to be afraid." I felt a wet slimy something stroke down my face and tried to pull away but found myself unable to move anywhere. I was once again strapped to a table in a dark room. The slimy digit slowly found its way down my face and to my neck where a sharp bite was given causing me to cry out in sudden pain. "There now, everyone will know that you are mine. That bite will not go away anytime soon. Don't ever forget Heero, that you are mine. I OWN you now." The voice was slimy and slithered right through my ears making me feel completely exposed all on its own. I moaned piteously, and tried again to move away but my limbs felt too heavy and numb to do anything. The weight then lifted off of me completely but the hot breath and the voice in my ear remained, telling me of awful things, convincing me that I was really there. "Have you been enjoying your little dreams Heero? I bet you think this is the dream, but that's ok. Soon, my Heero, soon I will have you all to myself. Soon you will forget every other thing you had before you came here and all you will remember and know is me. Soon, you will be mine and only mine!" the voice left then and in the distance I could hear a strange cackling. I listened carefully for the sound of footsteps but never heard any. "It's just a dream. He's wrong…he's wrong…. This is the dream, he's wrong…" I could feel myself getting hysterical. Why wasn't I waking up this time! Why couldn't I open my eyes! What was happening to me! I couldn't stand this. I still couldn't feel my arms or my legs, so I couldn't move at all. I didn't know what to think. After several minutes of silent hysterics I finally got myself under control. I still was unable to move or even open my eyes but decided to just calm down and try to go to sleep. Surely I would wake up back in my own house with my lover. So, slowly and with a lot of concentration, I finally willed myself into a deep sleep.

The first thing I noticed when I awoke was the all-consuming darkness. It must be later than I thought. I tried to roll over and found myself unable. My limbs were all restrained at the moment. I frowned in puzzlement. This was not the way this worked! I could feel panic rising up in my gut. This couldn't be happening, I always woke up back with Duo. My breathing starting to pick up then, my heart rate speeding up rapidly, sending off some sort of machine that I was attached to causing it to beep loudly in the all to silent room. Then without warning or sound a light right above me was turned on nearly blinding me. I heard footsteps quickly enter the room and immediately stilled and squeezed my eyes shut. "Tsk tsk, Heero. What are you freaking out about? Do I need to give you another drug to slow your heartbeat?" the voice of the evil doctor was back. I opened my eyes and looked into his soulless grey ones. "Please…." I begged. "Please let me go! I don't know what else you want from me! You've done enough! Just let me go!" His expression looked bemused and he leaned down so that his face was right in front of mine. "You are mine Heero and I will never let you go. You might as well get used to it. The sooner you give up and submit to me fully, the sooner I will let you go." He smirked then and stood up. "Wha-what do you want me to do?" I asked quietly. His smile turned venomous then, "I told you Heero. I want you to submit to me. Make me your master and fight for me! Do exactly as I say and I will release your bonds." I looked away then, hating myself for even considering his offer. "For how long?" I asked then. "Forever!" he sneered. I hardened my gaze then and looked back at him in defiance. "I will never fight for you! I fought for colonies and for a just cause, not for some mad scientist that only wanted world domination!" he slapped me then, the sound resonating off of the cold cement walls. "How dare you! You little whelp! You will submit to me! By the time I am done with you, you will know nothing but me and you will beg me to keep you!" I watched him wearily as he dipped his hand into the pocket of his lab coat withdrawing a needle. "Now, I've had enough of your insolence. It's time for you to go loose some more of your precious memories." My eyes widened at this. "What do you mean, loose memories?" He laughed, or more like cackled, at my question. "Oh yes my little Heero. You see, every time you dream this drug captures that dream. Only you don't dream, you just remember. Everything that you think you see or do when you are asleep is all a memory that I will take from you until the only memories that remain are those of you as the soldier, Heero Yuy. That is what you are, a soldier! You're not a lover, you have no emotions, and you want nothing else but to fight." "No!" I screamed and strained against my bonds. "Oh yes! You will forget everything of the life you have forged for yourself since you ended the war. The time is drawing near my little Heero. Soon you will be mine." With a quick jab of his needle I felt fire enter my veins and I screamed in pain and shock at the overwhelming sensations. I strained and fought against my bonds for as long as possible until the drug took effect and everything went dark once more."


	8. Chapter 8

Hi everyone. First off let me start off by saying I'm sorry. This should have been posted a heck of a lot sooner, but things have been super crazy here. I went on leave for Christmas, then once I got back I moved, then we had to prepare for an inspection at work, next I threw myself into studying for my advancement exam, and then some horrible crazy drama happened with my family. Honestly, I would have posted this sooner if I wasn't so crazy busy. So, I'm sorry for the long wait but things are calmed down now so hopefully I can get this finished quickly. I'm going to try to post another chapter right after this one and then the story will be done I think. Well anyway, thank you for sticking with it! Enjoy!

Same warnings as usual: angst, violence, drug use, etc. Malexmale don't like don't read.

Chapter 8

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

I was floating in darkness. Every now and then a flash of light would appear but I could never tell exactly what direction it was coming from. If I really strained I could make out faces in those flashes of light. But I never did know who they were. I was beginning to think that this was it, I would never make it back to my Duo now; my Duo, my love. The mere thought of him brought me warmth and comfort as I continued to float in the empty vastness that surrounded me.

Many hours, minutes, or maybe even days later, I'm not sure how long it was, but I know it certainly felt like I was floating there for eternity, I finally started to hear. The sounds were light at first mere whisperings on the non-existant wind. Steadily they grew louder and more bold as I strained to make out even one word. "…ee…" The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but I needed more to really know so I listened harder. "…twenty five…" then another voice "dosage too…." The longer I listened the more I could hear and the clearer the words became, the lighter the emptiness I was in turned. I was no longer floating in black but more of an off white by now. "I'm telling you! That dosage was too high!" said the one voice before the other slightly recognizable one heatedly replied, "Not for _him_ you imbecile! Did you forget who we are dealing with?" I was now floating in a fully white space and was very aware of everything that was being said around me, but could still see nothing. The voices; above me? Below me? Maybe beside me. Wherever they were they continued to argue.

"If the dosage was not too high then why hasn't he awakened yet?" the second voice again

"Damned if I know! He's the super human not me! Maybe he is awake and is just pretending to still be unconscious. I've heard that he is very good at that." Replied the first voice as I tried to piece together just what was going on and who they were. My mind was really fuzzy and I couldn't remember much of anything. Where was I? What happened? I continued to float in my now white empty space and listened and wandered. I could hear many sounds now, the clank of metal hitting metal as something was dropped, the rub of what sounded like latex gloves together, the quick inhale and exhale of the two people on the 'outside' and every rub of fabric against something smooth. It was a very strange state to be in. To be able to hear but not see, speak, or feel. There was a small nagging in the back of my head that I was forgetting something very important, but if it was forgotten then what was I supposed to do about it? I would have sighed if I had lips in which to make sounds with, or vocal cords for that matter, but at the moment I was a weightless, bodiless, being just floating in a void white space. I was neither hungry, nor tired, nor was I cold or weary. I felt as though perhaps I would be better off staying here but everytime that thought would so much as cross my mind, a flash of something else would go across. Something I couldn't make out, it was purple, I could tell that much.

After much pondering and floating, I noticed a small light form in the distance. It seemed like a good idea to follow that light. It was warm, and somehow comforting, and it drew me to it. Just as I was about it reach it a strong feminine voice stopped me in my tracks. "You do not need to go that way just yet, Heero Yuy." I frowned, or at least I think I did. "Heero Yuy….I guess that's me…." The voice let out a sigh and then before me as if it was just blinked into existence was a young woman. She looked strangely familiar but I could not have told you anything about her. Her presence into my space brought with it a radiance unlike any other and I thought to myself, 'Ah, an angel. I figured I would meet one eventually' She waved her hands and my space became more solid, as did I. I was now 'me' again, a full human; arms, legs and all. We were standing in a room swathed in white, it was really unnerving actually. It had four white featureless walls, a white couch pushed up against one wall with two white reclining chairs beside it. Set in the middle was a small white coffee table adorned with nothing more than a white vase containing a single white rose. All white, how… boring. She turned to me then and motioned for me to have a seat. I chose the chair furthest away from her.

After a long pause in which she just stared at me, she finally spoke up. "Heero Yuy, do you want to die? Are you ready to die?" I didn't understand her question. Wasn't I already dead? Didn't I just barely exist right now? I looked at her then, trying to see where I remembered her from. She had dark brown hair spilling across her shoulders cutting a sharp contrast against her long white robes. Her eyes were brown as well and large, but kind and inviting. Her smile was broad with large full teeth with thin lips pulled over them. It was as I was studying her that my memories all came back to me. It was as if a damn had broken with me at the bottom. They came at me like a great flood, almost knocking me over and making me gasp. Everything at once, my childhood with Odin, my training with Dr. J, Meeting Duo, the war, the almost second war, the doctor….. But that was where my memories got really muddled. Something wasn't right. Didn't I live with Duo? That's where I knew this woman from! She was the Therapist that Quatre told him about! I blinked, and tried to remember more about his time with Duo. His house…. Anything. But nothing else would form. I looked back up at the woman, silently pleading with her to tell me something and she sadly closed her eyes and shook her head. "Please Heero, come sit beside me and all will be explained." I shakily got to my feet and moved over to sit with her on the couch. Once I was collapsed next to her she slowly started to explain, "You see Heero, My name is Maxine, as you know. But, I am not actually a therapist, I am an angel. I was sent into your soul to try and save you and prevent yet another human war. God does watch over you Heero Yuy, you are his greatest warrior and will one day be an Arc Angel yourself and will proudly protect all of the heavens as you have the earth. But that day has not come yet. We are not yet ready for you. You have not had your reward on earth yet. I am afraid that no matter how much good we try to force upon the earth, the humans still ultimately have the power down there." I nodded sadly understanding all too well what she meant. I nodded at her to continue, "You see Heero, after you ended that second war things were supposed to go a little differently for you. You were supposed to be happy, to finally learn how to truly feel. But unfortunately your unconscious body was stolen by some crazed scientist that used to work under Dr. J. He seemed convinced that if he could get you to go 'Zero' again he could learn to control you and wage another war with you at the head."  
>I frowned, "That's not how I remember it. I woke up in a hospital with Duo…. I moved in with him… went to work for the preventers, then I went berserk, and they sent me for help and that's how I got to the scientist…." She looked away in pained sadness squeezing her eyes shut for a moment as if fighting off tears. "Oh Heero! Please don't be angry with me! I was only trying to help! I cannot touch you in the physical world only here! I could see into your heart what you wanted so every time you came close to giving up, I would 'create' memories for you. I also did it in hopes that you would never lose any of your true memories to that evil being. I had to constantly watch over you so that whenever you lost consciousness I could quickly plant the fake memory before a real one came up. I have kept up so far, but…." She paused, "my strength goes with yours". I felt my eyes widen in shock. "So… none of it was real? It was all in my head?" She nodded finally allowing a few tears to escape. "I am sorry Heero. But I had to tell you the truth!"<br>"What about when I killed the Doc? Was that real or not? Cuz it sure FELT real!" She shook her head avoiding my eyes, "I'm sorry Heero, I wasn't able to plant a happy memory into you at that time and when you lost consciousness you dreamed that all on your own. You dreamt what you most wanted. It worked out well though because it allowed me to start planting more memories and start a new story. It was also a subtle way for me to tell you just how much time had passed. Although that back fired because the Duo in the dream got it wrong…." I let my head hang then, whether in defeat or weariness I'm not sure. It was with a long thoughtful pause first that I finally replied to her, "I'm not mad at you, but, you created all of it? Everything?" Her hands flew up to her mouth in surprised manner before a deep blush spread all over her cheeks, "Oh dear! No! I only planted the seeds, it was your own creative mind that came up with everything else." I nodded in understanding. That was good at least, so the 'memories' were my own, but only my own. I sighed in misery and despair then. So I had never had Duo. I looked up at her and saw her swallow once before reaching out to gently take my hand in hers. "I am sorry Heero, but we are short on time and a decision must be made." I raised my eyebrow in confusion before she continued. "You have grown very weak with the doctors meddling, so very weak. You're dying Heero." She gave me a minute to digest this new information I guess to gauge my reaction. I was surprisingly calm about it. A very large part of me felt as if I should just go with it, I was soo tired of fighting. "You can decide Heero. If you do not want to fight anymore we will gladly welcome you home early. Three fourths of a century early isn't that early anyway." She smiled softly.  
>"So it's my choice huh?"<br>"Of course Heero, you are being given this choice because you have more than earned it."  
>"What happens if I go back? You said that your strength goes with mine." She cringed then and once again looked away. "I-I cannot tell you all, but I can give you a gist if you will. You will experience a lot more pain and you will have a long hard road to go until recovery. I will tell you this, if you go back. It will not be long until you are rescued." She smiled then and looked back at me<br>"How will this be possible?" I asked her smile only got bigger  
>"Lets just say it was more than time for a little Divine intervention."<br>I chuckled lightly at that, "I hope this means that I'll have infinitely better luck in the future?" Her smile got bigger this time and she hugged me gently and I felt for the first time what it must be like to be held by a mother. "Oh yes Heero! You most definitely will! So is that your decision then?" I let out a small smile, "I did make a promise not to die, and I have every intention to keep it." She jumped up then and hugged me tightly once more before turning me around to face the back of the room. With a wave of her hand the wall fell away revealing a long dark tunnel with a small light at the end. "You must follow this until the very end." She said before turning me to face her once more. She was crying now, tears flowing freely down her pale slightly reddened cheeks. "I am afraid I will not see you again for some time Heero, but remember I am always with you. I am your guardian angel and always do my best to keep you alive." I smiled back and gently wiped the tears from her eyes, "You have done a wonderful job even if it did hurt like a bitch." Her gentle laughter echoed in the room and I suddenly felt a strong wave of love roll off of her and into me, as if it were air. I felt warmed, comforted, and deeply calm. She grabbed my shoulders and gently turned me back to face the tunnel before pushing me towards it softly. "Now, you must do two things on your journey back. One whatever you do, do not look back. For if you do you will never be able to go forward again, and two, it is going to be very painful the closer you get to the light. You must fight through that pain with all you have. You must not give up! Not even for one minute! The moment you give up, it will be over and you will have no other chance." She pushed me into the tunnel and I slowly started to walk forward being sure not to look back. I heard her whisper, "Good bye dear heart" before her presence was no longer detected. I trudged forward trying to mentally prepare myself for the pain that I knew would come.

It was completely dark all around me except for that small light in the distance. I had been walking for a long time and it didn't seem as if the light had gotten any bigger. I wanted to stop and rest to conserve my strength for when the pain would start but knew that I could not, so instead, I just kept going. My internal clock was telling me that at least two hours had passed and while the light did look bigger I was still a long ways off. I kept going.

Another three hours and the light was still only about the size of my head. I was starting to get frustrated now.

One more hour…..

Another…..

I started counting my footsteps as a way to count the time as well as pass it, two hours later I was bored of counting…

My feet were starting to cramp by the twelfth hour, by the fifteenth my legs were screaming out in protest for rest. And still I continued on, my only thought was reaching Duo.

I started to notice little points of pain by the eighteenth hour. My throat was scratchy and raw and I was getting desperately dehydrated. The light was about half the length of my body by now.

On the twentieth hour my arms started to ache, by half past that they both felt as if they had been broken badly several times and my ribs were aching as well.

The twenty second hour found me near to staggering on two feet that felt broken, raw and bleeding. My lips now were bleeding and my mouth devoid of any and all moisture. My eyes were now gritty and dry to the point that even blinking hurt.

On the start of the twenty third hour I almost screamed in agony as it suddenly felt as if all of my ribs had been snapped in half and it became increasingly hard to breath because of it.

On the twenty fourth hour I finally fell, my legs giving out completely. The light appeared to be right in front of me now and I blinked wearily and slowly started to creep towards it. "Duo…."I rasped out. I was almost there, I had to be! The pain was so incredibly intense that I wanted to just stay where I was and weep. But I made a promise to Duo and I wouldn't go back on that. My legs had become completely useless by this point and so I pulled myself forward by my arms inch by agonizing inch. All of the muscles in my arms burned from over use and my ribs protested wildly to being pressed into the ground in such a way.

Twenty five hours and forty six minutes later I finally reached the light. And when I finally got there a pain more intense then I have ever experienced seized my entire body causing me to scream out. It was as if fire and lightening was pouring through my veins infecting every inch of me. The only thing free was my head, which was only registering the pain everywhere else. I collapsed into the light just as it seemed to grab me and engulf me. After that I knew only darkness.

I tried to pry my eyes open slowly afraid to be hit by unexpected light but instead saw only dark. I blinked a few times and tried to move. As I suspected my arms and legs were still tied down to the operating-like table. I sighed, hoping that what Maxine had said was true and that I would be rescued soon. I just wanted Duo. I still hurt all over, it felt like they had intentionally broken every bone in my body. There wasn't an inch of me that wasn't sore. I tried to hold it back but couldn't help myself as I let a small pain-filled moan escape past my lips. I shouldn't have tried to move. It hurt entirely too much. As soon as the sound passed my lips I heard footsteps running my direction and before I knew what was happening the light was back on overhead and the doctors face was in mine.

It was another voice that spoke up first though, "He's awake! Amazing! I would stake my life on the fact that he was dead not 24 hours ago!" The Doc currently staring at me hissed in impatience, "Shut up you fool! I told you he would wake! You forget who we work with!" I wanted to glare at that but instead focused on keeping myself neutral. I had decided that it would be best to play along with him that I only remember my soldier training and nothing else. Fighting was mostly all I remember anyway, so it wasn't a complete lie. The Doc smirked at me then and pulled my eyelids up to shine a light in my eyes before giving me a complete physical, well as best he could with me lying down anyway. Looking me in the eyes once more he spat out, "Who are you?" I gave him my best soldier glare and made like I was going to start fighting my bonds. "Who are you?" I demanded trying my best to sound as if this was all new to me. I am no actor but I hoped I could fool these guys. The Doc chuckled, "I am just a lowly scientist trying to figure out what makes the perfect soldier tick. That is all." My scowl deepened, "Are you with OZ?" I demanded trying to weasel something out of them to make my case more realistic. The Doc threw his head back then and laughed. "No, no my little Heero, I am not a part of those nobody imbeciles. But, you are going to fight for me now." I tried to look confused at that, "Are you another representative of the colonies? Did Dr. J send you?" He sighed, "No, I am myself and I represent myself, and my followers of course. We want another war. I want to see the Gundams in action again. Especially yours; Wing Zero." I growled and turned away in scorn, "You're crazy old man. That Gundam is nothing but a menace. Its near impossible to control that system, it controls you." I turned my face back to his, fighting against the pain that sprang up with even that small of a movement "Why pick me? I can control the Zero system. Wouldn't it make more sense for you to use someone that can't? I mean it works better on the weaker willed. It shows the best possible strategies and forces the 'user' to do what it wants." He looked a bit bewildered by my statement. 'Some scientist' I thought, 'he hasn't even figured out the most basic functions of the Zero system.' He 'hmmm'd' and stepped out of my line of site before returning and leaning down into my face once more. "You're right! Why didn't I think of it before! It doesn't have to be you! Why, with the right equipment, it could even be me!" He made a squeal of delight before quickly turning away, calling out "Jeremy! You grimy pig! Where are you!" I heard him practically dance away and for the first time since, well I don't know when, I finally allowed myself to hope. If he used the Zero system on himself it would break him. I smirked in satisfaction. The idiot hadn't even done any real research on the system, he just thought he could break me and use me as his little puppet. I told him just enough truth to get him to leave me alone, but not enough to let him know what the Zero system would do to someone that's not even a pilot much less a soldier of any kind. Hell, even the mad 5 had been afraid of it. I seriously doubt if they tested it on themselves in any way.

They left the light on this time and I tentatively looked as best I could to see if anything had changed. From what I could tell, not much had. Which was a good thing, I guess. I sighed and decided to let my beaten body get some sleep. I really felt terrible and I would about kill for some water right about now. I was so tired that it only took a thought before I was out.

I was startled awake by a loud crashing sound in the background. I jerked on my restraints and listened to what sounded like a scuffle in the next room. Things were crashing down all over the place and there was yelling and screaming followed by several rounds of gunfire. Was I being rescued? I continued to listen trying my best to figure out just what was happening. I then heard the Doctor let out a hoarse cry of, "My research! How dare you!" before there were more gun shots followed by the sound of a body hitting the floor.

"C-mon guys! Theres another room back here!" called a muffled voice from the next room. I strained against my bonds to try and see what was happening but it was useless. The bonds were too tight and I was simply too weak to even try. I was completely worn out from struggling after just a moment and fought to keep my eyes open. My eyes were just drifting closed as the door opened and several people came storming in. It was too late though I was loosing consciousness and couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. A blurry figure leaned over me and I got just a glimpse of something deep purple before my eyes shut and darkness once again consumed me.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Ok! I was going to make this chapter longer, but I thought that was a perfect stopping point so decided to end it there. Don't be too mad though the other chapter will be up very soon I promise! I may even post it up right after this one, who knows! Reviews on this one please!

-Tsuzukinyo


	9. Chapter 9

Hello again everyone! I'm back! This is the last chapter to this story. I may do an epilogue on it but I'm honestly not sure yet. With everything that's been going on these past few months I've forgotten what I was originally going to do with this story so now I don't even know whats going to happen in this chapter. Lol It will come to me as I type I'm sure. So, enjoy everyone! Sorry again for the long wait on completing this!

Same warnings as ever….

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

The first thing I noticed as I slowly woke was the softness beneath me. I also quickly noticed that the pain had diminished quite a bit and was now a sort of dull ache. I felt heavy and lethargic, but that was still better than I had felt before. Before I tried to open my eyes I quickly took stock of my condition. I was lying on a soft bed, not the hard surface of the operating table that I had been on. I let a soft sigh slide past my lips, I had been rescued. I sent up a silent thank you to Maxine and only then did I finally slowly open my eyes. It was relatively dark in the room, the only light coming from the softly glowing machines hooked to me. I turned my head to the side and immediately noticed the window with the heavy curtains covering it. There was a little bit of light spilling out from behind them and I suddenly wanted nothing more than to have them opened. I do not know how long I was held captive but, I do know that it has been far too long since I last saw the outdoors. Was it sunny and warm out? Or was it rainy and cold? I tried to remember what it felt like to have the soft breeze blow through my hair, or the cool rain to hit my skin, but I suddenly could not remember such pleasant sensations. The only things that came to mind were all painful. I was broken out of my reverie by the sound of movement on the opposite side of me. I slowly turned my head, suddenly afraid of what I might see. I looked towards the floor first and noticed a chair pulled up beside my bed. I started on the knees, since I couldn't see the feet, and slowly drew my eyes upwards. The chest of said person was covered by their crossed arms but I could see on the sleeve the preventer logo. My eyes stayed glued onto that logo, I wasn't sure how to react. What had happened before was only a dream. I never went crazy, I never even worked for the preventers. The sound a sharp intake of breath pulled me out of my musings and forced me to snap my eyes upwards. Wide violet eyes met my own and for a moment the world stopped turning and time ceased to exist. My eyes also widened in surprise before filling up with unshed tears, "Duo…" I rasped out. "Oh gods…. Duo!" I could hardly speak, my throat raw and sore from lack of use.

Duo did nothing but stare for moments, probably in shock as to what to do. Then without any forewarning he sprang out of his chair and drew me into a rough hug. I could feel his tears soaking my hospital gown as he held me. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world, being in his arms. I tried to raise an arm to put it around him in return but even that small movement was agony for me. A pained gasp escaped past my lips at that tiny movement causing Duo to quickly pull away from me. He gave me a sad smile before slowly releasing me. I watched as he pulled the chair closer to my bed before collapsing back into it. He gently lifted my hand to position it in between both of his before he finally spoke up. "You're awake…." I blinked at him before nodding slowly, careful to not do too much movement. "I was afraid you wouldn't wake up…." I tightened my hand around his and let out what I hoped was a smile. It was hard though. I tried to speak again, to ask some questions, but speaking hurt. After a few tries I finally managed to rasp out, "how long?" before have to take a few deep breaths. Just talking alone was wearing, two words and I felt like I had run a marathon. Duo gave me a look filled with concern and worry before softly answering, "You've been in here for nearly 3 months now. You've been mostly comatose the entire time. You woke up a few other times but only for the briefest of seconds before passing out again."

Three months! I was in a bit of shock to hear that. I can't believe that I had been in here that long. No wander my voice doesn't want to work. I shook my head and tried again, "How long….gone…" I rasped out. His eyes widened at this and he immediately started to chew on his lower lip in worry. "Are you sure you want to find all this out now? I mean, you just woke up. We can talk about this later…." I sighed, he was right. I should just concentrate on resting before anything else. My eyes left his as I looked around the room once more before resting on the jug of water just out of my reach. I felt as Duo slowly pulled his hands from mine and watched as he reached over and picked up the jug and a glass. "Water?" he asked looking at me expectantly. I nodded as vigorously as possible without hurting my head. He smiled and poured me a cup before reaching over to adjust the bed. Once I was finally sitting up he brought the glass to my lips and gently tipped. As soon as the first drop of water splashed against my tongue I became ravenous. This was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted! I never knew water could be so wonderful! I ignored the pain in my arms and reached up to hold the glass myself and tip it further up. I needed more! I was so incredibly thirsty. The glass was quickly emptied and Duo refilled it and gave me more. Even after the second glass I wanted more. Duo pulled the glass away from me and set it down beside the bed. I frowned, I still wanted more. He shook his head before grabbing my hand in his again. "I'm sorry Heero, " he started, "but that is all that you can have. I don't want to give you too much, it will just make you sick." I let my head fall back on the pillow and let out a sigh. This recovery business was going to suck. I slowly allowed my eyes to close and drifted into a quiet peaceful sleep.

When I awoke next I was once again laying flat. Duo must have lowered the bed for me after I fell asleep. I opened my eyes and was once again disappointed that the curtains were drawn. I frowned before turning my head to look around the room. As my eyes made it to the chair that Duo was sitting in before I immediately noticed that he was not there. I looked all over the room and could feel myself panicking slightly. I felt much more able bodied this time around and quickly found the strength to adjust my bed myself. I moved myself into a sitting position and was just getting comfortable again when the door was quietly pushed open. Duo poked his head in and gave me a wide smile, "ah, your awake. Good!" Then before he had a chance to push further into the room someone pushed him out of the way and rushed in. Before I could even register what was happening there was a flash of blond before I was enveloped in a tight hug. "Oh my god! Heero! We were sooo worried that you would never wake up!" a deep resonating voice said from the vicinity of my shoulder. I was confused. I didn't recognize this deep voice. Finally the figure pushed away from me and stood. My eyes widened to size of saucers. This person in front of me I didn't know, although he did resemble someone from my past. I studied him for a minute. Blond hair slicked back from his face with some kind of gel, gentle aquamarine eyes, and average size for a man. Probably around 5'10 or 11, broad shouldered and very muscular evident even in his neatly pressed button down suit shirt and tie. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion before moving them back up to meet with his eyes. It couldn't be….could it? "Quatre?" I asked softly. He laughed then, a gentle sound, deep and rich. His smile lit up the whole room and even as a big man, he still had that gentle air of innocence about him. "That's right Heero. It's me. I'm not surprised you didn't recognize me at first. Not many do nowadays." A chuckle from behind him made me finally look around. Everyone was here, but they all looked so different….They were all…grown up. My eyes finally made it back to Duo and once again I was surprised. When I woke up the first time, I didn't really look at Duo. I noticed it was him, recognized him immediately, then moved on. Now that I was really looking at him I noticed the differences. He had grown as well, no longer being the lanky teen that he was. He was a towering 6'2'' at least and also broad shouldered and muscular. What had me the most surprised was the fact that he had some stubble on his face. Not a beard or anything, but he obviously needed to shave. His face had also lost all of its baby fat and was now angular and well defined. I continued on my roam of the room and my eyes landed on Trowa next. The only reason I recognized it as him was because of the one visible green eye showing. His hair was different, it still covered one eye but instead of just hanging down his face it was pulled back into a loose ponytail. I had to admit that it worked well on him. I remembered seeing him during the second war and remarking about how muscular he was then, so that much didn't really change. He was always the tallest out of all of us, but now he seemed to be more average than anything. He was 6' at most. Behind him was Wufei, who thanks to his Asian heritage, was still very lean and lanky. I probably would have been the same, had I been given the chance. He was still rather short, standing only around 5'8'' or so and while he was well muscled he still was skinny and lanky looking. His hair had gotten longer but he still looked rather young. I was pleased that at least one person looked about the same. They all stayed quiet while my gaze roamed over each of them. I turned back to do and pleaded silently with him to answer some questions.

"You feeling up to talking a bit?" he asked as he strode over to sit beside me. Taking my hand in his once again he patiently waited for my response. I nodded slowly not trusting my voice at that moment. He sighed and looked behind him. "You guys ready for this as well?" Quatre winced in response to his question but nodded all the same. The others also nodded quietly. He let out a great sigh before proceeding with his story. "Heero… the year is now AC 200…It's November, and you were taken from us AC 196 in December. It's been nearly four years since we lost you."

I sat for a minute in stunned stupor before his words finally sank in. "How…why…wh-I-I…" I didn't know what to say. I wanted to scream I wanted to argue and wanted to call him a lier. I knew he wasn't lieing, Duo Maxwell never lied, but four years? He nodded sadly before continuing his story. "Heero, on the day of the battle with Mariemaia you passed out at the very end. Do you remember that?" I nodded and he quickly continued, "Ok well, we took you to the hospital but while you were there, we were attacked. The whole hospital was in danger so we all went to help defend it, leaving you alone in the process. It turns out that the attack was nothing more than a diversion. Once we were all away from you, they came in and kidnapped you. We searched everywhere, but were never able to find you." His eyes started to tear up as he spoke. "I'm so sorry Heero." I reached my hand up and gently placed in on his cheek using my thumb to wipe away the unshed tears. "Duo, please do not punish yourself over this. If they wanted me that bad, they would have gotten me even if they had to kill you and everyone in the hospital to do it. I'm sure you all saved a lot of lives that day." I met eyes with everyone else as I said the last part and continued to switch my gaze between all of them. "I do not blame any of you." As my eyes made it back to Duo I looked him straight in the eyes, "Did you ever give up? Did you ever stop believing that I was still alive somewhere?" He shook his head vehemently, "No!" he cried, "Never! Not once! I-I couldn't." I let my hand drop back down and even let out a small smile. "Good." I stated simply before leaning back on the pillows already worn out from the few small movements. "So what happened next?" I asked.

Duo continued on to tell me about how the preventers took them all in and allowed them to continue the search for Heero for two years before they gave up and declared him dead. Even though the preventers wouldn't allow them to search anymore they continued to on their own time. "Just a couple months ago we got a phone call from someone about a stray satellite piece that was floating just outside of the L3 cluster. They said that it looked like there were lights coming from it. After that we got another phone call about illegal drug transactions taking place on L3. As preventer agents we don't generally deal with small crimes or even white collar crimes but they put us on this one because of the types of drugs that were being carted around. All mind altering drugs. Seemed suspicious right?" he paused then as if contemplating how to continue. "It seemed like any other mission; go in, get the bad guy, then get out. But it didn't quite happen like that. Never does, eh?" he smiled a cheeky smile before moving on. "We were finally able to narrow it down to one guy, Dr. Marcus Smith. Of course with such a generic name it could have been anyone. We finally tracked him down and he gave us a video recording of you in what looked like a psychiatric ward. He said that you were with him for treatment and would be back soon. It had already been two years at this point so we didn't know what to do. He promised to send us regular updates on you. We all talked about it and decided to lay low for a while and just see what happened. He came through with his promise and set us regular videos of you. You were even smiling and laughing with the nurses in some of them so we assumed that you were fine and would come back when you were ready. About six months after that, the videos suddenly stopped coming." He paused then to run a hand through his bangs and take a deep nervous breath.

"I wanted to go after you right then and there, but we didn't have enough information as to your whereabouts. We went back to L3 to search out the doctor once again but we couldn't find any more information about him. He was last seen when the last video had been sent. It was horrible. It was as though the man had disappeared into thin air! And the worst part was that he had you with him." He stopped again and I took that moment to ponder on his words. So some of what I remember was real. I was originally there almost willingly. They must have tricked me in the beginning. At least those nurses were nice and tried to make me happy there. "I was fine there at first. I don't know how they did it but they made me believe that I had gone there willingly. They were trying to draw the ZERO system out of me… The nurses were very nice and it was alright being there at first…." I paused unsure of whether I should say more or not. "He killed them. All the nurses that were just being nice to me, he killed them. He mentioned something about not being able to do things his way with them around. That's when the torture started." Quatre let out a loud gasp and turned to Trowa to bury his head in the taller mans chest. Trowa in turn wrapped his arms around Quatre offering as much comfort as possible. I raised my eyebrows slightly in question but was cut off from any answer as Duo started to talk again.

"We scoured the galaxy for you, every day. It's amazing how we found you actually. We were sent on another drug sting mission that was taking place on L2. It had gotten terribly out of control with tons of narcotics being passed around. We had to get to the bottom of it. Since I'm from L2 I decided to go undercover to try and draw them out. I quickly met up with a bunch of lackeys and joined their ranks. That was the easy part. As I moved up in ranks I quickly noticed just how much money was getting passed around for these drugs. I knew L2 was in bad shape but having politicians spend the colony's money on drugs was just too much.

I put a stop to that and was going to get the whole drug cartel closed down but was stopped when I heard a rumor. I needed to know who the head guy in it all was and nobody seemed to know. The only rumor was that they called him the Dr. I continued to stay under cover and made it up to the top ranks before hearing about where I could find this ''Dr". That was when we got word that he was on some floating bit of satellite out is space. Wouldn't you know it was the same floating bit that we'd heard about before and for one reason or another, never got around to investigating. Apparently he'd set up this workshop out there and was producing illegal drugs and selling them on the streets through his gang. My informant told me exactly where I could find said 'bit of satellite' and I called in backup before going to bust him.

I honestly wasn't expecting this doctor to be the same one that took you. As soon as we got there we burst through the door and right into his personal lab. There were drugs EVERYWHERE. On every available surface; pills, liquids, powders, plants, you name it he had it. It was disgusting. I immediately started to destroy everything. Shooting at whatever I knew would not explode before turning to him. He wailed on about his "research" getting ruined but otherwise gave up. Everyone was set to go but I wanted to look around first. I don't know what it was but something told me to keep looking. I found a semi-hidden door in the next room over and called the guys to come see." He stopped to swallow nervously, "When I opened that door, I looked in just in time to see your eyes slowly close." He let out a small sob then, "I thought we were too late. I ran in and tried to get you to wake back up but you wouldn't. You were so thin, and frail, and it was the most frightening sight I have ever encountered!" I placed a hand over his in reassurance. "Duo, do not worry about it. You found me in time, that is all that matters." He gave me a pained smile and we sat in silence for a moment just basking in each other's presence.

It was Quatre that spoke up next startling us all. "Heero, " he started softly, "Did you die once?" his question surprised everyone other than me. I was expecting him to have noticed. Our eyes met before I nodded once. "I thought so. I could feel it. I felt you slip away and then there was nothing. I was really scared. Then, the next day I suddenly felt you again, but you were very very weak. Can you tell us what happened?"

I was certainly not ready to divulge everything that happened to me right now, but I would share my "death". "I died, but I was given a choice. I could stay or I could come back. I was promised that I would be rescued quickly should I choose to come back, but that I was also more than welcome to stay. I was told that I didn't have to fight any more, that I was due a reward of happiness." I decided to stop there. I wanted to save the rest for when Duo and I would be alone. I leaned my head back against the pillows and closed my eyes, feigning tiredness. I was tired, I just wasn't ready to sleep yet. I wanted everyone gone though, except Duo.

Quatre seemed to get the clue and started to usher everyone out the door so that I could rest. Duo made to stand as well but I grabbed his hand before he could go. "Umm… you guys go. I'm going to stay for a bit." Quatre nodded once before he slipped out the door the rest quietly following. Duo returned to his seat, his hand never leaving mine.

"Duo," I started, "Do you know why I chose to come back?" he shook his head in response before meeting my eyes. "I came back because I made a promise to you not to die." He seemed surprised by this. "All that time that I was gone, I thought only of you. " My throat was feeling raw again and it was starting to get painful to talk, but I felt I had to get this out. "I was unaware of how much time had passed. He kept me on so much drugs that I was unconscious most of the time." He started to say something at that but I stopped him with a raised hand, "In my mind only about a year had passed, but that's irrelevant. What I'm trying to say is, it's because of you that I made it through at all." His eyes softened but I could still see questions rising in those violet orbs of his. "I thought of you every waking, and most of my sleeping, hours. The thought of you gave me hope, and gave me the will to continue on. I knew I would see you again." I squeezed his hand and he quickly stood and sat on the bed beside my knees before pulling me into a gentle but strong hug.

"Oh god, Heero! I was so afraid that we wouldn't find you. And then when I did find you and you looked…." He hiccupped once and started to cry once more, "you looked like you were already dead. I was so scared I had lost you before I ever even had you." He was sobbing fully on my chest now. I just quietly held him and stroked his hair. After a few minutes he quieted down. "Duo?" I questioned. He sniffled in response. "Duo, thank you, for not giving up." He looked up at me with a watery smile and hugged me closer. "I could never give up on you Heero…." He whispered into my ear. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him, both of us just enjoying the moment.

I woke up feeling heavy and disoriented. There was a heavy weight on my chest, pressing me into the soft mattress beneath me. At first I forgot where I was and started to panic thinking I was still back in the lab. That was until the weight on me let out a soft snore causing me to snap my eyes open and look around. My eyes immediately met with chestnut hair and traveled further down to a charming sleep softened face. I let out a relieved smile realizing it was just Duo and thanking the heavens above that it was him and no one else. I slowly raised my pained arms to wrap around him and hug him closer. We must have fallen asleep while talking earlier. Duo stirred then and slowly opened his eyes. He let out a bright happy smile as soon as his eyes met with mine, "Good morning" he said. I hugged him as tightly as I could before pain took over and was just about to respond when a knock on the door interrupted me.

Before I could answer the door swung open to reveal a young male doctor. He looked to be in his mid-twenties or early thirties. He had short cropped brown hair, brown eyes, and a goofy enough grin to rival Duo's. He seemed entirely too cheerful to be a doctor and I could think of nothing else to do but to scowl at him in response to his cheerfulness. "Good morning Heero! I'm glad to see you awake for our check up this time. It will make things much easier" he practically sang out as he made the two quick strides that brought him beside my bed.

I watched Duo frown suddenly before he slowly stood up, "Dr. Perkins, you're awfully cheerful today. Did you get laid last night or something?" he asked, crass as always. Good to know some things never changed. As he spoke he stretched, arms high above his head causing his t-shirt to ride up just enough to show off a sliver of tanned, toned, belly. My eyes darted right to that small patch of skin and became glued there in utter fascination. I was roughly pulled out of my thoughts though by the sound of rough laughter coming from said Doctor. "No, no Mr. Maxwell nothing that grand. I'm just very pleased at the progress Mr. Yuy is making and excited that he is finally awake while I am in here." He turned to me then addressing me directly this time, "Mr. Yuy, I'm a big fan of yours. You saved my family with your Gundam during the first war and it is an Honor to be your Doctor." My eyes widened and I could do nothing but nod stupidly in response. I felt an unexpected jolt of fear rush through me in response to his words. I don't trust Doctors any more. My next question almost didn't come out I was so tongue tied, after a couple of times I finally managed to ask the most important question, "When can I get out of here?"

The Doctor turned out to actually be alright. I wasn't allowed to go home right away of course but he did everything possible to make me comfortable. I quickly found out that I had several broken bones, severe muscle atrophy, Pernicious anemia, Photophobia*1, Rickets, and Marasmus. All the diseases were basically just nutrient deficiencies and the Doc assured me that they would go away over time as I got my regular diet back on track. I was severely malnourished weighing in at around 110 lbs. when I should have weighed at least 170. When I finally really looked at myself I noticed that I could see every bone in my body. I looked terrible, like a walking skeleton. The doctor was surprised by one thing, I did actually grow during the whole thing. I was close to six feet tall now. Not quite as tall as Duo, but still taller than I was. It was shocking to say the least. I had a long long road to recovery ahead of me, but I didn't care. I was alive and had another chance, and that was all that mattered.

Three weeks after my admittance to the hospital and I was more than ready to either be discharged or leave on my own. I suddenly remembered my dream where I escaped from the hospital just to go to Duo's house. I quickly squashed that idea down as I realized that was all a dream and I had no idea where Duo lived by this point. The photophobia made me incredible sensitive to light, especially sunlight, so I would have to leave at night. I was in the middle of contemplating just how I could get out without harming myself more when Duo strolled in, big smile plastered on his face. "Guess what Heero!" he called out as he quickly sprang to my bedside. "What?" I deadpanned. He'd been doing this just about every day. He'd come in, big smile, say 'guess what?' and proceed to tell me something inane or pointless. 'It rained today!' or 'my cat coughed up the biggest hairball last night!' or my favorite so far, 'this hospital has a whole cafeteria! And they let me eat for free!'. That's my Duo, always thinking with his stomach. I was brought out of my thoughts just as he started talking again. "They are going to let me take you home!" he exclaimed while pulling me into a tight embrace. My eyes widened in shock and I went stock still in his arms unable to believe my ears. "Wha? How?" He released me then and with his trademark grin told me his whole story. "Well," he started, "I walked up to the Doctor and asked him if you could be getting out anytime soon n' he tol' me that you couldn't go until you had a place to live. I asked if that was all that was holdin' ya up and he tol' me it was! He also said that you had made wonderful and amazing progress so far so as long as we keep ya on yer meds then you can go. I was so excited that I slapped the man on the back, tol' him to get your discharge papers ready, that you'd go home with me! So's he's gettin' the papers ready now n' you should be ready ta go by this afternoon. Oooh ya baby!" he finished his story and let out a loud whoop while pumping his fist into the air. I chuckled softly and shook my head. He quieted after a moment and looked at me with a now serious expression on his face. "Heero, I'm sorry. I should have discussed this with you first." He said, all hints of his L2 slang now gone from his speech. "I just took it upon myself to say you would be fine with me. Would you rather go with Quatre? Or maybe Wufei? Although I should warn you, Quatre is always busy with his business and any free time he gets goes to Trowa nowadays. And Wufei just married Sally not too long ago so they are still in that newly-wed phase, and if I were you I wouldn't want to interrupt that. I mean theres always Zechs as -"I cut him off with a finger to his lips and met his eyes with mine. "Duo! Shhh! Slow down and at lease wait for me to answer before jumping to conclusions. I would love to come and live with you. You're the only one I want to be with, and I mean that." After a quick hug he smiled warmly at me. "Thanks man!" he said as he jumped back towards the door. "Lemme jus' go see if yer discharge papers are ready and we'll get ya the hell outta here!" With that he was out the door leaving me in stunned silence.

True to his words Duo got me out of there that day and took me back to his condo. I was a little disappointed that he lived in a condo and not a house, but it really didn't matter. I would just give Duo the house in my dreams as our wedding present, that is, if I could ever work up the courage to ask him. His condo was nice though; three bedrooms, two bathrooms, spacious kitchen, giant living room, and even a nice large balcony/patio. It was too fancy for my tastes though and when I asked Duo about it he just shrugged and said that the condo was provided fully furnished by the Preventers and since he didn't have any other place to live it worked perfectly. He gave me a quick tour of what was to be my room, his room, and the bathrooms. He didn't show me the third room and looked nervous when I asked about it. "Eh… I might show you later. Lets just get you settled first though ok?" I nodded feeling suddenly drained from the trip and the small tour. I was under strict orders from the doctors to walk around for 5 minutes per day for one week then increase the time each week. Trust me, that's a lot harder than it sounds.

The next few weeks passed quickly and in a sort of blur. I did my exercises, ate, went to sleep, and then did it all over again. I was making progress sure, but I was still tiring incredibly quickly. It was really frustrating. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't make any moves on Duo until I was completely well. That promise was getting harder and harder to keep when all I wanted was to hold him or be held by him every day. On my two month anniversary of having moved in with him, I finally couldn't hold back anymore.

Duo was in the kitchen making dinner with his back to me when I walked in. He was humming some nameless tune softly, completely oblivious to the world around him. I don't know what came over me that day, or what I was thinking, but I just couldn't resist. Every day he would wear these super loose t-shirts that would slip off of one shoulder exposing his bare skin. That day was no different. I walked right up behind him and before I could stop myself I had my arms wrapped around his waist and my lips pressed into the dip in his shoulder. As soon as he felt me he stiffened in my arms. When I finally came to my senses I quickly released him and jumped back. "I-I'm sorry Duo! I didn't—I mean- ah!" I ran as fast as I could out of the kitchen and into my room shutting the door quickly and leaning heavily on it. I couldn't believe what I had just done. I didn't even know if he liked me that way. His stiff body language said it all though didn't it? The Duo in my dreams always melted into my arms…. It wasn't like that at all.

A soft knocking on my door drew me out of my miserable thoughts. "Heero? Can you open up please?" Duo called softly through the door. I sighed and pushed myself off the hard wooden surface. I opened the door slowly to find a sad and miserable looking Duo on the other side. He looked like a kicked puppy. "I'm sorry…." He said softly, surprising me. "No… I should be the one to apologize… I shouldn't have done that without…" I trailed off unsure of how to express my thoughts. He shook his head vigorously and reached out to grab my hand in his. "No! I don't want you to feel like that. You just surprised me is all! I was just in such shock…." He looked very afraid then and was avoiding my eyes. It was like he expected me to hit him or something. I frowned, "Duo, look at me". He slowly brought his eyes up to mine and visibly flinched when they met. "I'm really sorry Heero. Please don't hate me!" I was taken aback by this and roughly grabbed his shoulders. "I don't think you really get it Duo. I could NEVER hate you. Did you already forget what I told you back at the hospital? About it being thoughts of you that kept me alive? Do you not understand what that means?" I watched as he shook his head very slowly. "Ugh!" I cried out, "Duo! It means I-" I cut myself off then by pulling his face down to mine and roughly pressing my lips to his in a heated passionate kiss. I poured all of my feelings for him into that one kiss.

He stiffened at first and it was a long few moments before he tentatively kissed back. As soon as I felt his lips move under mine all rational thought went right out the window. It suddenly didn't matter that I'd been gone four years. It didn't matter that I was still recovering, that I was weak, none of it mattered because I had my love in my arms, and he was kissing me. I didn't think it possible, but it was so much better than the kisses I got in my dreams. We pulled away slowly after several long moments, panting from lack of oxygen and built up passion. "wow…." Was all he said as he rested his forehead against mine. I smiled, a true happy smile. "Do you get it now?" I asked. He graced me with one of his dazzling smiles and nodded. "I think I do" was his overly simple reply. I shook my head, "I don't think you really do". I gave my best sly smile and pulled him over to the bed. His eyes widened as he looked at the bed and then me. "Heero… we can't…you're not well." He said softly concern filling his big violet eyes. "I'm fine Duo. I'm still a little underweight and have a lot of muscle mass to catch up on but I'm fine. Even the doctor says I'm fine. Don't worry so much." He still looked uncertain but allowed me to pull him to the bed.

The back of my knees hit the bed first and I grabbed a handful of Duo's shirt and pulled him down on top of me as I fell back onto the soft surface. He let out a startled yelp but I quickly drowned out any other noises he could make with hard kiss. Having his weight on me should have scared me, but oddly enough it didn't. In fact, I found it strangely comforting. I knew everything that the doctor did to me, but I couldn't remember a lot of it. The doctor said that my mind had blocked it out and it was like selected amnesia of a sort. I certainly didn't mind though and took it as a gift. I didn't want to be afraid everytime I wanted to show Duo some intimacy. Duo moaned softly into my lips but otherwise made no move to do anything. I slowly brought my hand up under his shirt, running my fingers over his tight abs. I eased his shirt up and broke the kiss just long enough to pull the offending material over his head. I ended the kiss just long enough to really look at him. I longed to see him and couldn't get enough of his bare skin. I ran my hands all over his chest, abs, shoulders, and even down his arms. I just had to touch him everywhere. He was very still throughout all of this and when I finally looked at his face he looked as though he was at war with himself. I did my best to express my concern through my eyes before bringing my hands up to cup his face. "Duo… do you not want this? Or is it just me that you don't want?" I asked softly.

I watched as he bit his lip in response before meeting my eyes. "I don't want to hurt you, or have you over exert yourself. I don't want to be the cause of you going into some sort of relapse…" I rolled my eyes at him. "Dammit Maxwell! Give me SOME credit! I'm not a fragile little flower! I did survive 4 years of torture and if that couldn't break me then I seriously doubt that you will!" I was suddenly angry. I didn't fight my way back to be tiptoed around like some fragile breakable piece of glass. I pushed him away then and moved to stand up when two strong arms wrapped around me from behind pinning me in place. "Don't go…" Duo's soft voice whispered in my ear. "I'm sorry, you're right. I'm just so afraid of losing you again. I don't know how I lived without you these past four years but I know I couldn't do it again." I turned myself in his arms and grabbed his chin forcing him to look up at me. "Duo, I'm not going anywhere. I'm back and I'm here for good. We've already lost so much time together. Why should we waist any more?" his eyes widened slightly in thought at my reasoning. I kissed him softly then, just a mere whisper of lips touching. I pulled away, looked hard into his eyes and stated as clear as possible, "I love you Duo." His eyes widened then immediately softened as they filled with tears. Before I could make another move I was suddenly pulled back onto the bed with a very excited and happy Duo on top of me, kissing the daylights out of me.

This time it was he who wasted no time in getting my shirt off. When we finally pulled away from our frenzied make-out session he gave me the broadest, happiest smile ever and started to plant kisses down my chest. In between every kiss he would say something. "I" kiss. "love" kiss. "You" kiss. "love you" kiss. "love you, love you!" kiss kiss kiss. I chuckled softly at this and pulled his face back up to mine for another mind boggling kiss. Once I broke the kiss I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace. "Gods above Duo!" I cried out, "I never want to let you go again." He returned the embrace burying his head in my shoulder and letting out a muffled reply, "And I never want to let you go either. Don't ever leave me again Heero". Both of us were exhausted from our emotional outbursts by this point and ended up falling asleep wrapped in each others arms. It was blissful.

The next morning I woke up to the feel of soft kisses being planted all over my bare chest. I couldn't help the small moan that escaped my lips as I came fully awake. I opened my eyes to see Duo peeking up at me through his long bangs, a wicked smile adorning his beautiful lips. "G'morning Hee-chan!" he said and continued his exploration with his lips as the tour guides. My pants were suddenly starting to feel a lot tighter and I almost wanted to beg Duo to just touch me. My need for him was now greater than ever. "Duo…" I moaned out as I felt his hand brush the top of my pants. I felt his tongue dip into my belly button before traveling further south. My breath hitched as I felt him pull my pants completely off allowing my now weeping member to spring free. I almost came right away as I felt a wet moist heat suddenly engulf me. My back arched off the bed plunging myself deeper into that warmth. It felt even better than I ever thought possible. All it took was a couple of strokes of that heat and I was floating on the brink. "Duo….St—" I panted. "St-stop! Don't'…." I knew I was about to cum and didn't want to yet. I reached down and pulled him away from me and up to my lips. I could taste myself on his lips and while it wasn't exactly pleasant I found that it didn't bother me at all. I moaned into the kiss and quickly flipped us both over so that I was on top. It was my turn to explore, and explore I did. I licked, nipped, and kissed my way down to his very large erection and proceeded to do to him exactly what he did to me. I drew him slowly into my mouth until he was completely sated. It was a stretch since he was so big but I made it work. I drew back and let him fall completely from my mouth before sitting up and looking around. "Duo, do you have anything…." I trailed off suddenly very unsure for some reason. He nodded and pointed to the bedside table. I quickly reached over, pulled open the drawer, and withdrew a bottle of lube. "Slippery stuff?" I questioned as I read the bottle. He let out a soft mewl of dispair before grabbing me and pulling me into a sloppy kiss. "Its supposed to be the best, now hurry up and use it before I go crazy!" he exclaimed. I laughed at this and quickly squirted some onto my fingers. Once my fingers were liberally coated I went down on him once again. I licked him a few times before taking him completely into my mouth. At the same time I gently pressed one finger into him. After stretching him as best I could with the one, I added another, until I slowly worked my way up to three all the while sucking and licking him. He was wriggling around under me now, soft moans or pants making themselves heard. Just as I was about to withdraw my fingers I finally found that spot that I was looking for and brushed over it gently. Duo's body arched off the bed with a loud cry, his hand fisting into the sheets. "Shit! Do that again!" he gasped. I was all too happy to oblige.

I withdrew my hand completely after feeling that he was finally ready. I then coated my own weeping erection and positioned myself to enter him. "Are you ready?" I asked Duo looking him straight in the eyes. "Gods yes! Just hurry dammit!" he practically screamed out. I snorted softly. Apparently Duo could get very impatient in bed. I pushed into him slowly, easing myself in. He felt so good. I knew this was definitely heaven. His tight heat pulled me right in and I couldn't even hold back the moans any longer. "Gods above Duo! You feel amazing!" I managed to say before I started to pull back out only to push in again. Duo met each of my thrusts with a buck of his hips and soon we had a nice easy rhythm going. I knew I wasn't going to last long so I took Duo's erection into my hand and gently pumped it drawing even more delicious sounds from him. A few more thrusts and I could feel myself going over the edge. Somehow we both managed to cum together, at nearly the exact same time. It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced in my entire life.

I collapsed on top of him once I was completely drained, but didn't pull out right away. I was enjoying the feeling of being joined with him too much. It was as if we were one person. Two halves of a whole. I wrapped my arms around him, placing a soft kiss to his shoulder, then another to his neck, and finally his lips. "Mmm… Heero…." He mumbled into the kiss. "Is this real?" he asked softly, lips still brushing against my own. "If its not, then I don't ever want to wake up" I replied ending the satement with a smile and another kiss. We both laid there in silence for a minute, each lost in his own thoughts. Then out of nowhere, I blurted out, "Marry me , Duo". I felt him go completely still in my arms so I propped myself up to better look down on him. I felt something wet hit my arms and realized he was crying. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" he cried while wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling me back into him. He rolled us over then so that he was on top and proceeded to kiss me senseless. Needless to say, we didn't end up getting out of bed until the evening that day. It was easily, the best day of my life.

The next morning I awoke alone. In a state of confusion I slowly got up, threw on some pajama pants, and padded out into the kitchen. I heard Duo before I ever saw him. He was cooking and once again was humming softly, even going so far as to sway his hips a bit with the tune. I leaned against the door frame and just watched him for a moment before deciding once again to try my luck. I quietly tiptoed into the kitchen and made my way up behind him. His eyes were closed and as he was stirring whatever it was he was cooking, he didn't seem to be aware of his surroundings at all. I smirked, this was going to be too easy. Instead of doing something sweet, I decided to play a bit of a joke on him. As soon as I was behind him I quickly grabbed him pulling him into a rough hug and bit down gently on the junction of his neck and shoulder, letting out a loud growl as I did. The huge jump and screech that he let out was well worth the smack I got from the spoon. I couldn't help myself and actually found myself laughing. Once I was finally able to stop I noticed Duo looking at me with an expression of wonder on his face. "What?" I asked. He wrapped his arms around me and replied, "I think that's the first time I've ever seen you laugh. I was getting afraid that you didn't know how." I smiled pulling him closer to me before bringing my lips up next to his ear and whispered, "It's all thanks to you. If not for you I wouldn't even be alive right now." I felt him shiver in my arms as my lips caressed his ear. "Ah… He-Heero…. " he moaned out, the sound going straight to my groin sending heat pooling through my limbs. I rocked against him gently, wanting to express just what I wanted.

In what seemed like one fluid motion he had the stove turned down, a lid put on whatever he was stirring, and had turned himself around in my arms to press a fevered kiss to my lips. We didn't even make it to the bedroom this time. Our second round of love making was fast, wild, rough, and just as amazing as the first. At the end we both sat on the floor panting and smiling at each other. I was the first to rise and quickly grabbed a wash rag from under the sink to clean us both up with. Once we were cleaned up with our clothes back in place he went back to cooking while I sat down at the table to reflect on my life so far.

If it wasn't for that horrible "Doctor" I would say my life was not so bad, except for the fact that he stole somethings from me that I can never get back. Four years is a long time to loose and of course I can never get that back, same with my virginity; although that one is not near as big of a deal to me. I'm just lucky that those memories have been conveniently blocked. It was weird, I knew that he raped me, several times but, I cannot remember any of it. I wasn't going to try either. I'm just fine with not remembering. I was startled out of my dark thoughts by Duo's voice, "Heero?" he said. I looked up from my seat at the table and smiled at him, "Hm?" He smiled back and just stated, "I love you". I stood up and walked back over to him, wrapped my arms around him, and of course said, "I love you too. More than words can express".

Duo then pulled his big pot off the heated burner and put it on a cooled back one, turned off the stove, and grabbed my hand. "I want to show you something" he stated pulling me along with him into the hallway. We stopped in front of the third bedroom door before he spoke again. "I've been working on something for a long time now. It's supposed to be for my house, if I ever get one." He then opened the door and ushered me in. Once inside I was presented with what looked like a long rectangular table draped with a sheet. He reached over, grabbed a handful of the sheet, and pulled. I gasped in surprise. There in front of me was the start of the door that I dreamed. It was hardly complete, not stained yet or shined nor did it have all of the designs on it that I remembered, but it was there. "Duo…." I started unsure of whether or not to tell him. "Duo, I saw this. While I was captured I would dream things that I wanted." My eyes never left the unfinished door with all of its carvings while I spoke, "In one of those dreams you rescued me just like you did, only instead of taking me here you took me to a small house out in the outskirts of the Sanq Kingdom. This was the front door…."

He had a strange expression on his face when I finally turned back to look at him. "H-how? How is that even possible? I mean…. I thought of you every minute I worked on this. Does that mean that my thoughts somehow reached you?" I grabbed his hand in mine and brought it up to my lips. "I have it on very good authority that some of your thoughts definitely reached me" I said. "So, you saw it? Complete?" he asked. I nodded and turned back to the door. I pointed at a currently unfinished spot and said, "That is where Deathsythe Hell will be, and over there is where Quatre's Sandrock goes, opposite that is Heavyarms". He raised his eyebrows in amazement before grabbing a piece of paper from somewhere behind him. "You're right…" he mumbled out looking at what I assume was the preliminary drawing. "Well, I guess I have no choice but to finish it then. Although I think I just may change something….Can't have it exactly like your dream now can I?" The cocky smile he gave me made me smile. As I stood in that room, listening to Duo babble on about his door, I closed my eyes and sent up a silent thank you to Maxine. She had given me the greatest gift possible and now I was for once truly happy. From here on out things would be fine. Even if I regained all four years' worth of terrible memories, as long as I had Duo by my side, I would be fine. I opened my eyes to see Duo staring at me now quiet, a look of question burning in his eyes. "I'm fine, I was just sending out a little thank you to someone special" I said while pulling him into my arms. He nodded in understanding before turning back to his door. The sunlight streaming in through the windows landed right on us and his half carved door causing it to emit a soft glow. I stood in that spot with him in my arms basking in the sunlight and for the first time in my life, I realized, I am truly happy. I'm happy, I'm content, and things could not possibly be better, life is good.

THE END!

Almost forgot, Photophobia is just a severe sensitivity to light. It can be caused by vitamin deficiencies or several other diseases. A common cause for it is staying in a dark environment too long. For example people that sleep all day and work all night could develope it if they never expose themselves to sunlight. (Vampires probably have photophobia lol) The rest of the diseases are just vitamin deficiencies.

Also, Slippery stuff is real. Its supposed to be the best of the best. Its what the doctors use because it doesn't dry out. Its worth trying. Their website is

Ok, so, when I first started this story I was expecting it to do something completely different. I tend to just write and not sit down and plot anything out, but even this totally changed. Orginally the point of view was going to switch back and forth from Heero to Duo so that we could get both of their stories but that didn't end up happening. Over all I think I'm pleased with how this story went but I don't know. There will be a short Epilogue and it will be posted shortly after this so keep a look-out for that. The epilogue is going to be mostly fluff, just a heads up.

Thank you to EVERYONE who stuck by me on this story for so long. So many things have happened that I am just happy I was able to finish it. I actually have two other stories in the works and will post them as soon as I am able. You all have been wonderful! Thank you again!

-Tsuzukinyo


	10. Chapter 10 Epilogue

Hello again everyone!

This is it! The epilogue of The Broken Soldier, enjoy! Comments are much appreciated!

Same warnings.

This is going to be pure fluff, just so that you know.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

It's been three years since my rescue from that evil bastard that called himself a doctor. Everyday has been filled with more happiness than I could have ever thought possible for me. Sure me and Duo would have stupid little spats every now and then, but even those I wouldn't give up for the world. I had finally gotten a job, for the preventers, but not as a field agent. I was on the research and development team and loved every minute of it. Basically I got to hack into computers, banks, or anything else every day, and I even got paid for it! I've been working for them for two years now and had been living in Duo's condo the entire time. Although, all of that was about to change. I found a house almost identical to the one from my dream. In my free time I've been fixing it up and slowly furnishing it. I was going to present it to Duo when I asked him to marry me. It was a kind of engagement gift, just a really big one I guess.

All I want now is to be with you  
>Cause you know I've been everywhere else<br>Looking back at what you got me through  
>You knew me better than I knew myself<p>

I'm so grateful to Duo, not just for loving and supporting me, but for getting me through the worst times of my life. Even during the war I could always depend on him to back me up. Everytime I questioned what I was doing, or felt lost, I would just think of him and regain my strength and direction. During the war he had told me that he would always be there for me. At the time I just took it as a comrade in arms, a good backup, and nothing more. It wasn't until the middle of the second war that I realized I was falling for him, or had fallen for him.

When I feel lost and I can't find my way  
>When words are at a loss I can hear you say<p>

I'll be by your side, when all hope has died  
>I will still be around oh and I, I'm still on your side<br>When everything's wrong, I will still be around  
>By your side <p>

Even though he couldn't be with me when the "Doctor" abducted me, I still always remembered him. I thought of nothing but him and that gave me hope. Because of him I was able to fight my way back. It was the hardest, and most painful, thing I have ever gone through; but, I would do it again in a heartbeat. It wasn't until I made it back that I realized the only place I've ever been able to call home, was by his side. I never wanted to lose that feeling. Duo was, no is, my family. I would still do anything for him.

Fighting my way back to where you are  
>The only place I ever felt at home<br>Stumbling backwards through the dark  
>I know how it feels to be alone<br>And where we go is where I wanna be  
>And in the silence I hear you say to me <p>

I am interrupted from my musings by a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see Trowa smiling softly at me. "You ready for this?" he asks me in his deep monotone voice. "Yes, more than ready" I say standing up from my seat and moving to follow him. We were at one of Quatre's mansions celebrating. What were we celebrating? Everything: Me being home and healthy for three years, Duo's birthday (since we didn't know exactly when it was), The lack of any wars for the past three years, and here in just a minute it would be changed into another celebration. I snuck a glance over to Trowa who was walking silently beside me as we made our way to the center of the room. There was a lot of people there. Everyone from the war it seemed had shown up for this lavish party. There was Sally and Wufei of course, Zechs and Noin, Dr. Perkins and his young wife, Most of Quatre's sisters and their husbands, Of course Quatre and Trowa, Duo and I, Lady Une and her newest obsession, Marimaeia and some of her friends, the Maguanacs, Relena and her new husband plus all of her body guards, and then some other good friends to everyone that they had met in the four years I was gone.

I'll be by your side, when all hope has died  
>I will still be around, oh and I, I'm still on your side<br>When everything's wrong, I will still be around

I can't wait another day to show my space between  
>Your heart and mine, and you're all that I need<br>You say

I'll be by your side, when all hope has died  
>I will still be around, oh and I, I'm still on your side<br>When everything's wrong, I will still be around  
>By your side, by your side, by your side, by your side, by your side <p>

My eyes scanned the room looking for that one person that could always make my heart skip a beat. It didn't take me long to find him, his height alone makes it easy to spot him. Our eyes met from across the room and I took that moment to motion him over. He was talking to some young newcomer to preventers, probably sounding like an old man again with his war stories. He got a real kick out of telling stories to anyone younger than him who would listen. He really did sound like an old man to when he told them.

Once he reached my side I wrapped an arm around his waist before holding up my glass of champagne and asking for everyones attention. I looked next to me to find Trowa and silently handed him my glass. "Everyone, can I have your attention for just a moment please?" the room quickly grew silent as all eyes turned on me expectantly. "First off I want to thank everyone for being here today on this very special occasion." Ok ok, I know your thinking 'there's no way Heero Yuy would ever say anything like this' and your correct. Quatre wrote the speech for me and I easily memorized it. "We're here today celebrating a great many things; the end of the wars, life, and of course love. I would like to again offer my congratulations to Sally and Wufei on their pregnancy." I nodded in their direction and watched as they smiled and gave a nod in thanks in return. "I also want to congratulate Miss Relena on her recent marriage. Congratulations again." She also smiled and nodded her thanks. "Beyond that I would also love to say Happy Birthday again to my wonderful lover, Duo Maxwell." I turned back to him and smiled warmly before dropping down to one knee. His eyes grew wide and round as saucers as he watched me. I reached into my pocket then and pulled out a tiny box. "Duo Maxwell, you have been there for me when times were at their hardest. You saved me in every way possible. I love you will all of my heart and soul and would like to be by your side until the end of time. Would you do me the honor of marrying me?" I pulled opened the box to reveal a shiny tungsten carbide ring in black with a silver line going through the center. In middle was a small picture of a diagonal sythe with angel wings. Duo gasped when he saw it and I could see tears silently flowing down his cheeks. "Y-yes…" he choked out obviously trying not to lose it. I quietly pulled the ring out of the box and slipped it onto his ring finger before standing up. He did lose it then and started crying in earnest before throwing himself into my arms. That's when the clapping started, softly at first and soon became a full on roar complete with cheers and all. I leaned down and kissed my new fiancé and soon all the other sounds in the room were drowned out.

After the party I drove Duo to the house that I had bought and asked him what he thought of the place. He was confused at first since there was no for sale sign up. "I think its great Heero, but its not for sale." I smiled, "No its not, because it's already been bought" he quirked his eyebrow in question, slowly catching on. I laughed softly and pointed to the front door, or lack of one. "What happened to the door?" he asked noticing that it was just a piece of plywood in its place. "That spot is being reserved for a very special door with some very unique carvings on it". His smile blossomed then. "Heero… do you mean it?" I pulled him into my arms and placed a kiss to his cheek. "Yes, I mean it. It's already fully furnished and ready to move into. We can leave the condo at any time. Welcome home Duo." He practically jumped on me in his excitement and started to lavish me with kisses. We moved in the next day.

Everything worked out perfectly. A few years after moving into our house we adopted a baby boy and named him Hideki Maxwell-Yuy. The three of us lived happily together until he got old enough to join the preventers, as a field agent none-the-less, and left us. We're proud of him though, even if we wished that he could be something other than a soldier. We're old men now, the both of us. Close to ninety years. Hideki is married and we have two wonderful grandchildren; Helen and Solo. Duo cried when Hideki told them the names he'd picked out, it was a beautiful moment. My life has been complete, filled with happiness, love, and laughter.

Hideki strolled into his old house. At 63 years old even he wasn't a young man anymore. The house was still beautiful, just as it had been when he was born. Even the front door still looked new. Growing up he had a hard time believing some of the stories his Pa used to tell him, that is until he saw some old footage of the Gundams and even got to watch a video of the end of the first war. He was proud of his parents and wanted to be able to live up to his name in any way possible.

"Pa? Dad?" he called looking through the house. The sound of silence was the only thing that greeted him as he look. He quickly made his way to the back of the house where their bedroom was knowing that it wasn't beyond them to take a random nap in the middle of the day. He knocked a couple of times on the closed door first and when no response was given he slowly opened the door. Peeking inside he saw both his parents curled up together on the bed, arms wrapped around each other. After watching for a minute he quickly realized that there was no movement from the bed what-so-ever. He sighed softly knowing this was going to happen eventually. As he took stock of his parents condition he noticed Heero clutching a book in one hand. Gingerly he picked the book up and looked at it, it was a journal and it told of Heero's entire life from start to finish. He read only the last few paragraphs and laughed lightly at the part where he chose his childrens names. 'Pa had indeed cried…' he said softly. Looking his parents over once more he smiled sadly. "Congrats Dad, be at peace; you too pa." with that being said he turned around and slowly strode out of the room, the sound of the door clicking shut holding a strange finality to it.

The END!

Thanks again for reading everyone! 


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